Me (25F) and my husband (27M) have been married for 5 years. We have one child (2M). He says he can’t stand being around my family. We are very family centered. We go to my family and his family a lot. We are also religious and spend every holiday by either one family, splitting it evenly.
Whenever he is around my family I notice something very strange. He is quiet. He sits there with a look on his face that says “I do not want to be here” when people talk to him he answers with very short answers. When there is conversation going on he does not want to participate, he only ever talks to me which is frustrating because I’m in middle of being involved with the general conversation. He chooses to sit on a chair far off from the “circle” of people sitting on the couch and yes even when there is an open space beside me. He is also always looking to rush out and go home.
He tells me my brothers are assholes and that they ignore him. He says my mother annoys him. Yes my mother is a pushy type but she means well. I see him try to talk and when people ignore him its because its a big family and i also find they ignore me and i have to repeat myself which everyone has to do.
He comes from a small family where he is the center of attention and when he talks everyone listens and when he makes a joke they all laugh and I think he thats where he struggles. But i really dont see any effort in his part. I just see him looking like he doesnt want to be there and wants to leave. I’m often by my mother house for a few hours on the weekends when i want to be busy with my son because he enjoys it so much when he can play with his cousins and oftentimes my husband wont even come and will rather stay home.
Family is very important to me. I see he acts very different around mine. I am not holding them up to a light i know my family isnt perfect. But i really dont see him trying to put any effort in at least for my sake. I dont know what to do? When i approach the subject it turns into a big fight. Just now he is saying i am not taking his side and that i “suck their dicks”. I dont really see it as taking sides as there is no actual dispute. But yeah sorry for the long post. I am just feeling really lost here.