My (20, Male) birthday just passed and it’s made me realise how, after more than 6 years of struggling with my mental health (and in turn, physical health), from depression, to severe OCD, psychosomatic problems etc.
I’ve almost completely lost contact with people. I havent been to school in years, havent had a job, and while im doing physically and mentally better right now, i still cant handle any of that with my physical problems and OCD.
Yes i’ve been to therapy, in many different forms and intensities, i eventually stopped because of a burnout from therapy (5+ years of talking about everything wrong with yourself gets to you) and because i was a lot better at the start of 2025.
i’ve had a setback the last year because of some new problems and now im stuck again. I’ve already started looking for help again but admittedly it’s also different now than it used to be.
One of my biggest struggles right now is the fact that i’m so secluded from society, and that bothers me so much that it affects my OCD through just stressing constantly.
While therapy could help me with managing stress and anxiety surrounding fears, i know the social part is something i have to do by myself.
I can go out at night, go shopping, visit a museum, go to appointments etc. (granted, appointments aside I can’t plan any of this more than a day or two in advance and it takes prep on the day itself)
But it’s on my own, i havent seen even one of my friends in over a year i think. and it wasn’t exactly a regular occurrence back then either. I recently realised that the person who i considered my best friend has probably gotten way closer with others throughout the years, and while that’s completely fair and okay it still sucks that I didn’t see it sooner.
I want to make new friends, but truthfully i don’t know how. I have no response to questions about work and studying but also don’t want to drop the whole mental illness thing on people, I do have interests that i want to study when i can.
I struggle mostly talking to men, and while i’m comfortable talking to women, and they’re (as far as i know), comfortable talking to me, I’m still worried that people think i have any ill intent or that i’m trying to hit on them. Usually after a sentence or two people realise i’m not, but i still don’t want to make anyone feel uncomfortable
I’m 20 but people often think i’m older, and while i’m a bit more “gender neutral” in how i behave, it’s difficult to tell unless i actually engage in conversation, just based on how i look
Anyways that’s a lot….. any advice?