i was home schooled most of my life and college during covid so online as well. i've always been a bubbly person but only outgoing once im comfy (and ive always needed to recharge after social interactions). im painfully shy to where i barely voice chat with people even 1 on 1 yet alone groups. i have experienced a lot of bullying too whether it was my voice, personality, looks. even people that others find annoying, i wish i was like them because at least theyre not afraid to be themselves. they can be who they are and not suppress it. im constantly masking and giving answers what i think others would want to hear. to others; they see me as a soft spoken shy girl but thats not who i truly am. with friends or family; i feel like i have to perform. i try to be as talkative and attentive as possible but it doesnt feel natural and that quickly drains my energy. so then im in this slump where id rather just not talk to anyone at all. im just so annoyed at myself because i have so many things to be happy and grateful for yet all i can focus on is how sad i am about my social anxiety. its just such a trivial thing to worry about. why cant i just hop in a voice chat and just say hi?? its not that deep aaa