Last year, I met this boy with whom I lived the most magical and romantic moments of my life. We didn’t have sex but we made out and cuddled a lot. He cooked for me and gave me a teddy bear. I felt really good with him. He’s funny, charismatic, ambitious, soft spoken and has a beautiful smile. When I told him I was a virgin, he didn’t pressure me for sex, he kissed my forehead and hugged me gently, this made me grow a lot of respect and love in my heart for him.
However, he broke my heart. After a while, he started distancing himself. He told my friend he wasn’t looking for anything serious because he was leaving the country soon. He suggested my friend to date me because according to him I’m a good girl for a serious relationship and my friend’s girlfriend (now ex) sucked his coworker’s d*ck and suggested him to do the same as him, have sex with her and leave because according to him that girl is a cheater.
He started chasing this girl because he saw her as an easy opportunity to have sex and share her with his friends. I was so heartbroken and disgusted to see this. He was giving a lot of attention to a girl who doesn’t even care about him. When he got to know I knew everything, he tried to make misunderstandings between me and my friend and lying that girl and his coworker were in love with each other, saying he was just trying to help which is bullshit. He’s trying to play the good boy with me, when in reality he’s chasing cheaters and “easy” girls to sleep with him.
Now he’s trying to make excuses to get closer to me again but I can’t trust him. But I like him too. I can’t stop thinking about him and the moments we had together. I just wish he liked me back. It’s been a year and I can’t forget him. I feel so sad. Why this had to happen to me? I tried to cut contact and everything, we stayed 4 months without speaking to each other but my heart still craves for this person.
He invited me to meet him but I know he will just want to kiss me and leave me again because he just wants sex and nothing else. However, I tried to talk to another boys but no one feels like him. I can’t open my heart to anyone else or even imagine myself kissing another boy besides of him. I only like him. I don’t know what to do.