So first I wanna say thank you to anyone who commented on my original post and gave me advice. I didn't think I was going to post a update as my last post didn't gain a lot of traction but someone wanted a update so here it is. Also sorry if its kind of long.
The last 2 days has been chaotic to say the least. When X (my now ex-boyfriend) got home the same day I posted originally he came home late yet again by like an hour. He acted perfectly normal so i was having second thoughts but I decided to just go through with my plan on asking him why he was coming home late. This is what I asked him: "Oh by the way, I've been meaning to ask how come you've been coming home so late?" I was told by reddit to make sure it didn't sound like I was confronting him. He responded with a simple "oh just traffic and my meetings have been longer than usual". To me that seemed like a perfectly reasonable explanation and I let it go.
Well right before we went to bed he was on his phone a lot. From what I could tell he was texting someone. Im not proud of what I did but when he fell asleep I looked for his phone. He had hidden it in his bedside table. I looked through his and R's (his friends girlfriends) texts and found nothing suspicious. I was relieved for a second but then I opened up his Instagram. Turns out he was cheating on me just not with R but some random girl he had met on Instagram. They had been texting reguarly and he was leaving work early to go visit her. I couldn't believe it as we have been together for so long and even though I had asked reddit I still wanted to be wrong. I kind of just sat there in shock for a while I think. We had talked about getting married, having kids, moving, getting pets and making travel plans all while he was hooking up with some girl? After I gathered myself I had just put the phone back and laid down in bed. It took a while for me to fall asleep but I eventually did*
When we were eating breakfast I confronted him. Told him I knew everything and that we were breaking up. He begged me to let him have a chance to explain but i said no and that i had gone through his phone and saw all of the texts. I packed while he was trying to get me to stay and then had my sister pick me up. Now im staying at her place. It was all a blur and happened very fast as I just wanted to get out.
Where I am heartbroken and wished i kind of never had found out i know that i would have rather broken up with him then give him another chance as i have 0 tolerance for cheaters and he knew this. I've been talking to my sister all morning today and according to her she never liked him and always thought that when I was with him I just kind of let him walk all over me. This all happened so fast though and I have barely had time to process it. He also has been spamming me with messages literally everywhere and I keep blocking him but he won't stop.
But anyways. That's the update. My life's now shit, I live with my sister and I work pretty close to where he lives so that's great. I haven't been single in a while so idk what to do with all my extra time.
Edit: No I'm not messaging the girl and or ruining her life I'm pissed at her but I'm not a monster sadly(unlike her). And I'm not ruining his life either the most I would do is tell his family but that sounds kind of childish and I want to be the bigger person.