Hello,
I am 32 years old and single.
I want to end my single life because I notice that the older I get, the worse my chances become of finding a life partner. The esoteric belief that “the right one will come eventually” seems like nonsense to me. Statistics and numbers don’t lie—the dating pool gets smaller over time. In addition, fertility declines, which makes it harder to have children. If nothing changes, there is no mechanism that will produce a different outcome.
I don’t kid myself anymore: in my circle of friends and family, everyone has already gotten married, and I am the only one still single.
For the past four months, I have been actively looking for a relationship. The desire for human closeness is there. To work on this, I go to the gym and improve my communication skills (especially flirting) by reading books and approaching women on the street. I also pay attention to my appearance (skincare routine, clothing). I would say I present myself in a well-groomed way.
I also watch videos from well-known flirting coaches.
In addition, I meet with like-minded people to approach women—mainly on weekends, in parks, clubs, and at festivals, where the atmosphere tends to be more open. I have also tried online dating, but I find it problematic. Two-thirds of users are male, which makes it very difficult to meet women. Statistically, you need to send around 125 likes to get a match.
Now to the core of my concern: I am increasingly doubting whether approaching women on the street is actually effective. So far, I have approached about 20 women. I suspect that many of these YouTube flirting coaches who promote this approach are not entirely honest. In their videos, you only see successful approaches and dates, but not the actual success rate or how many attempts it took before something worked.
I am starting to question the whole thing. These coaches often claim that you simply need to become better at flirting and that failure is usually your own fault. But what is the point of approaching 50 women just to maybe get one date? That quickly comes across as needy—which is ironically something those same coaches label as negative. This seems contradictory and, in some ways, beneath my self-respect.
This impression is reinforced when I see others in my circle also approaching women on the street and getting rejected frequently.
Edit: I forgot one important piece of information. I'm from Germany. People there are less easygoing than in the US or the East.