been feeling increasingly « bad » about this. Bf and I have been together for 5 years and we both love each other very much. I have always had pain with penetration but lately it’s gotten to the point where it’s like my body sort of rejects it… bf and I haven’t had sex in maybe 3 months? Last time we tried he was able to get it in very very slowly, but we weren’t able to fully have sex since it felt strange and « off » for both of us and the pain didn’t really let up for me.
before you ask, yes, my bf is very safe. We do not attempt to have sex unless I enthusiastically want to, he goes slow, stops whenever I ask, & pulls out if the pain really does not let up and I tell him I can’t manage. Sometimes the pain will ease up a little to the point where we are able to do it without it putting too much strain on me (it’s a huge bummer for me since I actually really like PIV sex & also – aside from touching himself – that‘s the only way he can cum, and I love to do that for him). Other times we just have to call it.
we‘ve never had sex that often, maybe once every two weeks. This type of frequency has always been okay for both of us (we’ve discussed it). but at this point it’s like my body is refusing it or something, I have really low libido and sort of dread it? my bf of course does not pressure me but I feel so bad. My gyno thinks I have a hypertonic pelvic floor and that’s what’s causing the pain but we’re not sure… I’d like to see her again about this but I really feel super bad about this. we are both mid to late 20s and I feel like I’m the problem and the reason why we aren’t having a sex life like most 20-somethings… we are intimate in other ways but I feel this is really a shortcoming on my part.
what can I do to make things better for myself and for us as a couple?