I (42M) have been in a long-distance relationship with a 38F for a little over a year. We used to talk constantly—texting all day, regular calls, visiting each other when we could. Things felt solid.
Around New Year’s, her behavior changed. She became distant—barely answering calls, sometimes going a full day without responding, and then only replying with a few words the next day. I asked her directly if something was going on or if she was seeing someone else. She said no and blamed it on being exhausted from work.
Then one night, she sent me some very explicit/naughty texts that felt completely out of character—and honestly, like they weren’t meant for me. I played along and asked for a picture, but she immediately shut it down saying she was tired. After that, it went right back to minimal communication. Around the same time, she started posting on social media again, and I noticed she was wearing what looked like a heart-shaped diamond necklace. I didn’t ask about it.
Fast forward to yesterday: still minimal texting, then out of nowhere she sends me a photo of herself in a towel with bruises on her knees and a caption saying, “I definitely loved it rough.” I responded with “WTF,” and she quickly backtracked, saying she fell at work and forgot to tell me.
Now today, she posted a story where she’s dressed up, hair done, looking like she’s going out. But at the same time, she’s suddenly replying to me instantly again—like how things used to be.
This all feels off to me, but I’m not someone who likes confrontation or starting arguments. At the same time, I don’t want to ignore obvious red flags.
What would you do in this situation?