I (26m) have been cheated on multiple times across three relationships, one after the other. First one (3 year relationship) cheated on me with a close friend, second one (6 months) cheated on me with my then flatmate, third one (7 months) cheated on me with her ex. Ended it with them not long after I found out for each one.
I've asked all of them for their reasons, and all have said some variation of "It's not you, it's me". They later expanded upon it, telling me that they were not in the right headspace, or that it was a mistake, and so on.
It's been four years since the last one. I've gone for therapy, gone to the gym, moved countries, shifted jobs/industries. Reached the peak of my physical/mental/emotional health. Finances were great, everything was going well.
But over the last few months, it has all gone to shit. Gained ~20kg, switched jobs, lost most friends, moved in with parents, finances are non-existent, health in all aspects has gone to shit. Back on medication for depression and anxiety.
People I know have gotten married, had kids and settled down while I can't even think of another relationship without the fear of being cheated on again.
Still trying to pull myself back together, but not having much luck. Just living on a day by day basis.
Constant questions in my head:
Is it a particular type of person I keep choosing?Have I done something to push them to seek other partners?- Is it just bad fucking luck?
- How to deal with this constant craving for connection, completely separate from sexual intimacy?
Any advice is welcome.
EDIT-1: Have talked to therapists and have been able to differentiate between my faults and theirs. But there's always this "what if" purely due to the fact that it's happened three times.
Personality wise, they have little to no commonality. Met them at different stages in their/my life as well.
EDIT-2: I am aware that there's barely enough information here for anyone to make any conclusions. But just tired of having this following me around for the last four years.