TL;DR: I found an empty perfume bottle that wasn’t mine in my finance’s car. Confronted him and he denied it but my reaction to being upset seemed like an inconvenience to him. Now he has been avoiding me for days.
My fiancé (31 M) and I (32 F) are currently a one car household which is his car. A couple nights ago, I took the car to the store. When I was putting the grocery bags in the front passenger seat, I saw an empty perfume bottle on the floor. The perfume bottle did not belong to me. I put it in my purse. When I got home, I set my bags down and asked who else has been in your car? He said no one. I said are you sure? He said yes. I pulled the perfume bottle out of my purse and asked him where it came from. He said that it was in the parking lot of our complex and picked it up so he didn’t run it over and pop his tire. I asked, so you just left it in your car in the floorboard and didn’t throw it away? He said he thought it belonged to me. I said no, that does NOT belong to me and why would you think I’d want an empty perfume bottle? Did you not think for a second that if I saw this I wouldn’t think someone else has been in your car? He denied anyone else being in the car and doubled down on the perfume bottle being found in the parking lot. I was visibly upset and told him that, that is a stupid fucking thing to do. His reaction to it all made it seem like it was all an inconvenience and did not really seem concerned which made me more mad. Then he asked me to shut the light off because he has a long day at work tomorrow.
I don’t think that I’m “overreacting” and his lack of response / concern that I was upset is ridiculous. Since then, he has been avoiding me by not being in the same room as me, not coming inside right away when he gets off work. I’m pretty sure I am going to have to be the one to initiate a conversation with him about it. I don’t feel like I am in the wrong about feeling upset about his lack of reaction or not even an “I’m sorry” for leaving a perfume bottle in the car or any kind of reassurance. Just deny and nothing else. We don’t normally have arguments and when we do, we don’t avoid talking about it for days. I just won’t be gaslit into thinking that my reaction was unnecessary.
Also, I am able to track his location. He never really goes anywhere outside of work unless it’s with one or two of his male co workers and he has always told me prior to that his is golfing and when he will be back. I work on the weekends and he usually drives me to work so he can have the car since the kids are home. I don’t know how he would find the time to cheat because he doesn’t really socialize with other people and is always tired after work.