I (23M) have been with my girlfriend (21F) for almost 3 years this June. We’ve been through a lot together. She supported me when I didn’t have much going on financially or direction-wise, and I genuinely love her and care about her deeply.
I’m graduating soon and starting a nuclear engineering job in July, so my life is about to change a lot. I’m stepping into a serious career and full independence, and honestly I still feel like I’m figuring myself out in this next phase.
The issue is I don’t feel ready for engagement or marriage right now, even though I love her. She’s been hinting pretty strongly that she wants to be engaged within the next year, and it’s starting to feel like an expectation. I feel like I’m “supposed” to be on that timeline because of our history, but internally I’m just not there.
Part of me feels like I need time to grow into this new stage of life before making that kind of commitment. At the same time, I feel guilty because she’s been a great partner and I don’t want to feel like I’m wasting her time.
Lately I’ve been feeling overwhelmed and honestly a bit trapped. I love her, but I don’t feel aligned with the timeline she seems to want. It feels like I’m being pushed toward engagement because of our past, not because I’m actually ready.
Has anyone been in a situation where you loved your partner but weren’t ready for engagement on their timeline? Did you work through it, or did it end up not working out?
TL;DR: I love my girlfriend of 3 years, but I’m starting a demanding career and don’t feel ready for engagement within a year like she wants. Feeling overwhelmed and unsure if our timelines are compatible.