I’ve been seeing a guy for over a year , met on Tinder, started casual but developed real feelings. A year in he tried to make things official.
This weekend my best friend (of 10+ years) told me that around 4 months into us dating, she matched with him on Tinder. She unmatched after a day and neither of them messaged.
She didn’t tell me at the time because we weren’t in a good place last year and the friendship almost ended (although it was only like 4 months that things were super weird between us). We reconnected in autumn and she’s only just told me now. I guess because I was talking about becoming official with him so she knew things had gotten serious.
There’s two things to process here:
Him
I know he hasn’t technically done anything wrong because we were never official and I thought I was ok with the idea of him dating. But it feels really strange knowing he was actively on Tinder (primarily a hookup app) 4 months in when we were messaging every day and having regular sex. And it’s my best friend! Like now I’ll always know that he’s attracted to her.
Her:
Fair enough she didn’t tell me when we went through the rocky patch and the friendship almost ended. But since we reconnected in autumn last year she’s listened to me talk about him a lot and has asked me for updates. She’s sat on this information for a year while I’ve been getting more emotionally invested.
How would you feel about both of them and how would you handle this?
Do I end it with him? Reassess our friendship?
I’m going to chat to him this weekend.