I don’t think dating is messed up because of just men or just women. I think things just changed, and now people don’t agree on how it should work. Before, it was simple men asked girls out and paid, and women decided if they liked them. Now, some people still want that, but others want everything to be equal. So people get confused because they expect different things.
Also, dating is harder now. Things cost more money, and apps make it feel like there are always more people to choose from. That can make people try less or not take it seriously. After a while, some people get tired and stop trying as much. So it’s not really one side’s fault. It’s just that the old way is gone, and there isn’t a clear new way yet. That’s why it feels confusing for everyone. What’s your take on it?
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The thing is in todays age we have more access to more people than we have ever had in the past. The issue is that these people come from different religions, ideology, community, and upbringings. So inherently they all have different ideas on what dating is like/for.
This isnt necessarily a bad thing, it just means you need to be more vigilant in finding people who align more with what your looking for.
And that is the problem a lot of people have.
What’s changed is women became aware of the shared trauma they previously assumed was a personal, terrible thing happening only to them. Short form content of women sharing their experiences has caused an awareness of men’s abusive behaviors on an unprecedented scale.
Before women heard stories of abuse in hushed circles or sensational headlines. It wasnt something openly spread around, it certainly wasnt something women were audacious enough to record videos about and share with the entire world. This is most definitely a new development
Besides that, women are seeing videos of men beating the shit out of punching bags with the words “practicing for if she says no” written acrossed the top. So add all of the absolutely toxic vitriol some men spout online. And women are seeing a side of men that was previously reserved for “locker room talk”.
Simultaneously women are seeing men denigrate and degrade them online, while also consuming content from women sharing the terrible things men have done to them AND REALIZING HOW COMMON THOSE SHARED EXPERIENCES ARE, more importantly.
Oh we know the rules m8. Women are just realizing the rules were created with a shit ton of caveats and expectations that are just straight up bullshit. Men complain about paying for a first date while the woman theyre meeting is putting herself in a dangerous position 🙃 and if you roll your eyes at that, you just havent done enough research yet.
There are no rules. Agree with other comments that women just started to see men for whom they are
If you have trouble now, you aren’t going to have better luck just because you stepped into a time machine.
Why do people so badly want copium for why they can’t find success at dating?
Cooking copium like this on Reddit and spreading it around is probably the bigger reason why people find dating broken for them.
Change your mentality. Just look into getting better at it and learn to not be bothered by failures.
While I agree, it’s also occurred because of a lack of taking responsibility and communication.
Having set boundaries and clearly communicating those and talking about what you’re after isn’t that hard but people seem to be too scared to do it. I don’t want to play games, I don’t want to waste people’s time or have my time wasted. I am searching for the right kind of person for me to date seriously. If those things don’t start to line up within a week of talking, then I politely let them know, wish them well and go on my way. The only people I’ve had get angry about this are guys chasing sex who think I’m too highly strung and need to let loose and enjoy myself by having sex with them. I don’t change my mind or my boundaries for anyone and have no issue clearly communicating what I’m not comfortable with. If more people did those things, it wouldn’t be so difficult
In summary, people need to chill. I noticed everyone is amped up and in a rush. That’s why I have issues with dating nowadays.
I actually agree with this more than the usual “men vs women” arguments. It feels like people are dating with completely different expectations now. Some still want the traditional dynamic, but no one really talks about it upfront. So you end up with two people both feeling confused or disappointed, even though neither of them did anything wrong.
I think we live in a society that’s just getting more and more diverse, especially when it comes to perspectives, but I think the learning curve we’re still on is just clearly communicating OUR perspective and what we want so the other person can meet us there. I feel like a lot of the problems you’re talking about can be solved just through plain communication.
I gave up on dating two serious and somewhat long relationships after my divorce. I am just sick of spending my time getting to know someone only for whatever bullshit makes us inevitably part ways forever. Its exhausting.
We’ve hit our great filter as a species. We’ve evolved to be so socially aware and globalised that women dont want boyfriends anymore and men are getting more depressed. Population will soon start falling in developed nations which will cause massive economic and social damage. Some babies will still be born but at the current rate the UK population could fall to 34 million within 60 years.
Feels like one side wants the authority to be making the decision, without being the one to bare its consequences. Which builds frustration within the two.
While another issue is that relationships seem to be more onside than mutually beneficial. Not saying they will ever be equal, but I’m noticing usually one person (guy or girl) in each relationship is a carrying them and the other is just a stone.