This is super complicated and ridiculous in a lot of ways.
My (30M) husband and I (30F) are content and have no intentions of divorcing. However, my husband does have a free pass. He can sleep with whoever he wants, but not like dating or a habitual thing. Just to taste other flavors cause lord knows I have. I see it as fair and I have no problem with this. He however, seems happy and content to be with me so this comes up very rarely.
My husband has a group of friends that is mostly men but one person (28F) is one of the guys (30M) ex girlfriend (now fwb) When they were dating she wouldnt let him have private spaces or relationships without her. I dont spend time with the group because I use their bonding time as me time 🤣 but also because this girl has always rubbed me the wrong way. She wants to be friends, but she gives bad vibes (theres an entire story there too) so I keep my distance. Shes also mentally unstable and her behavior is manic.
Last weekend my husband was distracted and honestly ignoring me. He just seemed consumed by his phone and it started a fight. I actually asked me to see his phone and checked his messages but I was so upset I really didnt read them. The tone was enough and she called him pookie which was so weird. I wasnt like "how could you" but like "why is this more important than spending time with me?"
Turns out he was reeling from this out of the blue confession from her and was understandably confused and distracted because um WHAT? He didnt tell me then because I was upset but he told me a day later once I calmed down. I then read the messages. My golden retriever husband very naiive-ly rejected her super harshly 🤣 He was worried that he had hurt her feelings and was worried about their friendship and his friendship with her ex.
There are so many more details, but Ill only add this. About 3 years ago she pushed super hard to be my friend and I pushed super hard back cause shes weird and in the texts she mentioned that she wanted an ongoing thing with him which doesnt align with our agreement (she knows about the agreement)
My question is do I confront her, tell her ex, have my husband tell her ex or just let the chips fall where they may and stay out of it.
My plan is to show up with my husband to their weekly brunch (they're always asking me to join) and shoot glances at her from across the table for an hour, but I truly dont enjoy these brunches so it would be an inconvenience to me.
Im welcome to all constructive, non constructive, destructive, and petty solutions.
tldr – This girl is trying to sleep with my husband cause shes manic and possibly wants to be me.