When I last bought a mattress, getting on for eight years ago now, the man at the shop was very clear that if I didn’t replace it in eight years time, my spine would disintegrate (beyond repair), and my wife would age terribly within weeks, leaving us both crippled and miserable.
At the time I was young and naive, some may have even described me as hopeful.
Eight years was so far away, and surely there wouldn’t be worldwide economic chaos, and a cost of living crisis. There certainly wouldn’t be any international fisticuffs occurring, as I would have fixed all that and ushered in a new era of world peace.
And even if those issues did exist, I’d be fine as I had lofty plans to retire at 30, so that I could Scrooge McDuck my way around my private pool of cash, having become an international sex icon and crypto billionaire.
Sadly, as some of you may have guessed by my continued presence on Reddit, the plan didn’t work out, and so, I am left wondering, do I really need to replace after eight, to prevent immediate and devastating spinal collapse, or can I just wait a bit till my back actually hurts and my mattress is actually smelly?
What’s everyone else doing about it?