I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for 5 years. We met young and started dating at 18. We had a baby last year in April and we lost her. She lived for 6 hours. It’s been a huge battle and I think it was the last thing I could handle. Our relationship hasn’t been perfect and I just truly felt how unhappy I was and how stagnant I felt for so long. I finally came to the decision that I wanted to separate or just take a break. It’s been hell this year. I miss him so much but I couldn’t stop ignoring this feeling that I wanted to live alone. He didn’t want to stay “officially” together if I left. He said he couldn’t do it, either I stay or if I leave we will technically be broken up. Idk what we are or what we are going to do or where this will lead. I wanted this to be for us to heal individually and get to know ourselves apart from being one. For the chance to come back together better and continue the dream of the family we wanted to have correctly. We never got the chance to grow individually as adults and I feel like it stunted us and how great we could be and for each other. I feel so scared. I have my own place alone as a woman for the first time in my life. He moved in with me and my parents and from there we got our own place and lived together for 5 years. Until now. Has anyone else been through something similar? I feel grief like no other. My baby…. She would be turning 1 here in 4 days, my boyfriend, my other dog he kept. We plan on keeping contact and visiting each other time to time especially for the dogs as they grew up together they were both ours but we split them too. I don’t have friends either, I lost them all in this relationship. I chose to follow my gut. Now I’m questioning myself and my decision. I genuinely only have my family which I love but and no one understands my situation. My parents think this is a mistake for some reason and it doesn’t make sense. I feel like I don’t have anyone to talk to who can give me real feedback and wisdom. I’d really appreciate anyone’s feedback who also lost their baby or been through a separation and living alone now.