I (20-NB) have been dating my girlfriend (F20) for a little over 2 years. She has supported me through having gender issues and mental health issues, and I have supported her through family and mental health issues. We have never had a serious fights before either. We currently go to colleges in different states, so we are long distance, but didn’t start that way.
My problem is that lately, I have started to view our relationship in a different light. I’ve taken off the rose-tinted glasses, so to speak. Throughout our relationship, I can’t think of a time where I felt truly comfortable being around her. I’m very introverted and she is extroverted, and whenever I’m around her, I can’t find anything to really say to her. We don’t share any common interests, and that’s basically the only things I know how to talk about. We’ve also shown that neither of us really know how to console each other, other than merely being a distraction. She’s also done several things in the past couple months that invalidate me being nonbinary (saying “you’re such a guy”). And lastly, we don’t want similar futures. She’d like to have kids and settle down in the U.S. Midwest near our families, and I don’t want kids and would want to live anywhere except the Midwest.
I feel like our entire relationship has been built from two people who were just lonely. And while we both have been objectively good partners to one another, I don’t think we’re actually that compatible, and settling for someone who is far less than ideal, but enough to fit the bare minimum.
I want to bring this up, but I don’t know how. I figured the easiest way would be to try and find a time where she isn’t busy and ask to have a serious talk about me not wanting to have children, and hopefully that could spiral to the bigger issues. I feel like this isn’t a good idea though, plus she’s Constantly busy, so I rarely even get the chance to work up the courage to.
I need advice for bringing this up, any would help.