I (44f) married for 8 years (44m) and question whether I should’ve even proposed 9 years ago.
I’m a very active person, but also have physical/emotional issues stemming from my childhood and a car accident 25yrs ago. Am I too much work? Again, I’m very active (trying to support my chronic pain and mental health), but at the same time can’t work.
He started working at home a couple of years ago. I loved it at first, but I feel like we’re just roommates. We haven’t been intimate in 6 years. I’ve brought it up, at first he mentioned my back and now he doesn’t respond. I’m jealous that my dog gets the scratches I would love.
I try date nights, movie nights and Sunday walks, but he always works.
Edit: we used to be very active together with hiking, snowshoeing and road trips
I just woke up from a dream where he cuddled with me and told me he was used to straight edge women but he was learning to love me. I don’t know if it means anything.
I know people change. Before we moved in together I told him I didn’t want to be with somebody who wasn’t up for the possible challenges of my physical/emotional health. He said he loved me and was supportive of me. He still supports me, but I don’t feel like he loves me anymore. I know he’s not cheating and my therapist wonders if it’s testosterone. It doesn’t help that he’s started reminding me of my father (who is also a workaholic and a contributor to my childhood trauma)
He urged me to get onto disability and now there’s no way I could live wo his income, I’d have to move in with my 80 yo parents who don’t accept me. They love my husband. He’s my greatest accomplishment to them.
I feel so alone, I miss him and he knows it. The only touch I get is a hand hold/on my thigh at family gatherings. Am I too different? Being a neurodivergent artist who’s adventurous in bed vs this strait laced “normie” that I fell in love with?
We’re nothing but roommates and I miss him. I’m scared to ask for counseling.
Sorry this post was so lengthy