F(20) and M(22) have been dating for about a year and a half. Our relationship has been rocky since the beginning due to mental health issues. Right now, I’m dealing with a huge moral dilemma.
My boyfriend’s family is very religious. He grew up believing in witchcraft, ghosts, psychic abilities, and God. I’m an atheist. I don’t share those beliefs, but I do believe everyone has the right to follow what they believe in. I’ve also never dated anyone religious beforehand, but I’ve had religious friends and family surround me all my life and I never let religion get in the way of how I connected with them. I did not think it would be this big of a problem in a relationship where we believe in totally different things.
The situation feels more complicated because of how extreme things seem in his family. His dad neglects him and says it’s “God’s plan” for him to act that way. He also claims that he hears God speaking directly to him. His mom believes their family are spiritual rulers of the underworld. His brother says he constantly sees ghosts and “shadow people.”
My boyfriend believes his depression is caused by his “third eye opening,” not by the trauma he experienced growing up especially from his father. What confuses me more is that his older brother, who also grew up in the same environment but isn’t religious, doesn’t seem to have experienced the same level of trauma or these beliefs.
From my perspective, it feels like a lot of what they’re experiencing could be connected to trauma and mental health issues, especially since schizophrenia runs in his family. I’ve had religious friends before, but this feels like it’s gone way too far. At the same time, I don’t want to be disrespectful or dismissive of their beliefs.
What’s really weighing on me is my boyfriend’s mental health. He talks about being suicidal a lot and clearly struggles, but he refuses to continue treatment or get help. I feel stuck between wanting to support him and feeling completely overwhelmed. It feels like I’m talking to a wall. I’ve told him so many times how I’m dealing with stuff myself too, and I want him to get better but I’m not a medical professional. I’ll be there to listen, but it’s like he wants me to fix him. Telling me he’s going to kill himself all the time and how in detail. I’m getting tired, but I’m also scared that if I leave, he might hurt himself.
I don’t know where the line is between respecting beliefs, recognizing possible mental health issues, and protecting my own well-being. Has anyone dealt with something like this?