So for context my boyfriend and I have been together for almost 3 years. My SO’s family has an apartment complex that they own and they’ve been leaving there their whole life. On the other hand growing up I’ve moved from home to home and only as an adult did I find my own space to rent. My partner and I want to save and in few years buy a place together. This year we want to move in together. He wants me to move in with him since he pays very little because it’s a family home and with that we get to save more money towards our future home. It makes perfect sense and I understand his reasoning. On the other hand I don’t want to move into his apartment since he’s family leaves in the same complex (different apartments). His family is lovely and very kind , but I want my own space . I want to come home and not run into family and have to indulge into unnecessary conversation. I want to be able to not go to certain events because I don’t want to , and not have to explain myself(I don’t want them to look out the window and be like , we see you). All my life I’ve yearned to have my own space and I don’t mind paying a little extra to have it even though it’s a financial setback. I spoke to my partner about it but he says I should give me logical instead of emotional reasons. He says that the family complex , everyone has their own apartment and everyone minds their own business, which is true but that’s not the point. I’m originally from Africa and living in the same building as your in-laws is just not ideal. I’ve learnt to live by myself and do my own things without having family for neighbors. How do I explain or articulate this to him? I do want to save up for our future and I am gonna cut down on costs and do what it takes but I don’t think I can suck up 2-3 years of living at the family complex just to save up more money.
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