HI! So I've been with my boyfriend for a few months, and before him I didn't really have any experience with sex. I was actually pretty anxious when we started being intimate, even though he was super sweet and supportive. The first time I sucked his dick, I was really overwhelmed and I just started talking about random stuff during it to try to empty my head. It worked really well! So I kept doing it.
I've gotten more confident and now I love just blowing him, but I didn't really stop doing it. I don't think I can. To be clear, if I blow him in the middle of sex, I stay pretty focused on that because I'm actually trying to make him cum. But whenever we're cuddling in his or my bed and I start casually blowing him, which happens very often, that's when I get super chatty. I tell him about my day, I ask about his, we talk about random silly stuff, or argue about some movie, sometimes we have straight up deep conversations about life and stuff, and in between phrases I go back to slowly sucking him. I genuinely love those moments, they're so cozy and warm and I kinda thought it had become our thing, you know?
But recently he told me he'd prefer if I stayed quiet. That kinda hit me like a truck. He never seemed annoyed or anything, he always gets just as invested in our chats as I do. But he wants me to just suck quietly. I tried a couple times, it didn't go well. I was stressing the whole time, the silence was making me anxious, and I just really missed our chats. I feel pretty insulted and hurt honestly. I don't like that I do, because if he doesn't like it that's okay and I should respect it, but I still do. It felt like he was telling me to shut up and that he only cares about the blowjob part, not the rest of what made those moments special.
Am I reading too far into this? I feel like I am but I can't stop fixating on it. What should I do about this? Would it be better to stop the casual intimacy completely?