Wife: "Fine, I'll look it up."

This is the exact moment she pulled up a picture of a Bradford pear and did the side-by-side comparison 🤌

"Yeah… that's a bog standard Bradford pear."

Also worth noting: Bradford pears are absolute garbage trees. Invasive, weak as hell, split in storms, and they've crossbred their way all over the Eastern U.S. choking out native species. Beautiful for like 10 days a year, menace the other 355.

Disclaimer: I am not a tree guy. I just know this one fact about trees.

Bonus fake fact I also carry around:

Dogwoods are supposedly cursed (biblical folklore) because their wood was used for the crucifixion — so they can't grow large enough to be used that way again.

That tree in the photo? Could absolutely make a cross.

But it's a Bradford pear.

So it would snap in half halfway through.

Fuck Bradford Pears, I mean. Don't take this post as my endorsement of this scourge.


23 comments

  2. I hate them. They choke out native forest-edge trees like dogwoods and redbuds around here.

  3. I hate Bradford Pears. We had a China Berry tree that my husband kept calling a Tree of Heaven. Hate all three of them LOL

  5. They might be beautiful for 10 days, but those 10 days is when they smell awful. We have a lot in my area. No one calls the Bradford pear trees. We call them quite a few other names.

  6. Whoever made that curse probably mixed up dogwoods and Bradford pears too.

  7. In many states, the State Department of Conservation may have a program where they will provide you with a free native tree if you show that you’ve cut down invasive trees on your property. I know of several people in my area that have used the program and gotten rid of the Bradfords that were planted decades ago when their neighborhood was first established.

  8. I’m so grateful we had ours removed when we moved in. It was planted like right up against our house, so stupid of whoever planted it. Cost me $2500 to get cut down though.

  9. As a traffic dude – Bradford pears are used as boulevard plantings because the trees will break before your car hurts you. Swerve off the road and hit a maple – injury collision. Swerve and hit a Bradford Pear – pay for bodywork on the car.

    I hate these trees as much as the next guy, but they work great for streetscaping.

    Except the smell.

  10. Idk anything about this but I have a hilarious story of misidentifying things outside…

    When I was little, I somehow got the idea that the sound of birds hooting in the afternoon were “day owls.” Like, owls are nocturnal, but what else hoots? So it must be “day owls.”

    I carried this ALL MY LIFE until I was in my late 20s and outside talking with an elderly neighbor. Heard the hooting sound. “Day owl” slipped out and he looked at me funny and said “that’s a dove.” 🤣🤣🤣

  13. And it doesn’t even make tasty pears. Truly a disgraceful representative of the tree world.

  15. My partner always tells me about these. I’m so glad I don’t actually know the smell myself.

  21. You remind me of my dad with your incredibly selective hatred for one tree.

    I never knew my dad to say anything about trees or plants. But that man hate bush honeysuckles with a deep passion. That pure distilled hatred that isn’t learned but one is born with.

    When I bought my house. He showed up with tools and chopped out/removed every bush honeysuckle on my property…and few on my neighbor’s. Left and never said a word.

    Learned he did the same for my sibling. His cousin. And his sister in law.

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