I had a realization recently and I’m curious if anyone else has experienced this. By the way, I’m a female in my mid 20s.
I was out at a bar in the city with a friend. She’s a really pretty girl, brunette, Pilates instructor, puts effort into her makeup and outfit, but she is a bit overweight. It’s like a fluffy 180 pounds on a 5’6 frame. While we were out, she kept looking around for a guy she used to see, kind of hoping to “run into him.”
At some point, there was a guy next to us she thought was cute. He didn’t acknowledge her at all. Not even a glance. She brushed it off saying he probably had a girlfriend.
Later on, I noticed that same guy talking to another girl. The girl honestly wasn’t anything special, very simple outfit (sweater and jeans), little to no makeup, but she was blonde and thin. He was clearly into her and engaging with her the whole time.
That kind of hit me. People always say just be you but I feel like that’s bullshit.
It made me realize how much initial attraction, especially in bars, is based on body type and overall presence more than effort like makeup or styling. It also made me reflect on my own behavior. I’ve caught myself in the past going out hoping to “run into” a guy I liked, which now feels a bit… delusional and stupid
I’m not saying personality doesn’t matter at all, but in those environments, it feels like if you don’t pass the initial visual filter, you don’t even get a chance.
It’s a bit of a harsh realization, but also motivating in a weird way.
Curious, have you noticed a difference in how you’re treated a based on weight/fitness? Am I oversimplifying this?