I need some advice/input
I am a woman that really enjoys sex and giving head to my partners. I also love receiving but I have a lot of mental blocks when guys go down on me. So I don't really orgasm
I started sleeping with a new guy and he is damn sexy. I love giving him blow jobs and he loves going down on me. But I want to give him the satisfaction of experiencing me having an orgasm ( because it is sexy and he deserves to have the joy of getting me to cum )
The sex is so good but I feel guilty because it does feel so erotic and I do moan but can never be brought to an orgasm.
in a previous relationship, I discovered with my ex, that when he fucks my face and I touch myself, I come ( and also some degrading dirty talk but idk If I wanna take it that far ). (Or also him jerking off and rubbing his tip on my stuck out tongue, rubbing his dick on my face and a mix of some things like this..)
but i feel a bit ashamed that is what im into. I mean if getting my face fucked is the way to go, isn't it weird to orgasm with his cock in my mouth? what if he thinks its weird or degrading? what if it feels too disconnected if he is fucking my face and I'm touching myself? is it lame this is the first orgasm we would experience together ( for me, he has cum already )
(Oh also, we did try 69, because I thought it could bring me to orgasm.
But maybe I really need to feel the sensations of him touching/ grabbing my hair and hear him moan. Also, him being the one to use my mouth and be in control)
Another part of me feels like, if I were to orgasm a few times like this, i could have my mental blocks taken down and it would be easier to be able to cum from when he goes down on me. (With my previous partner, I got comfortable enough after some time and I was able to cum from him just rubbing his fingers on my clit. But it took time to get there.)
I also feel nervous asking him to fuck my mouth or if he likes it. I do trust this guy, I trust him way more than my ex. I wanted to have normal sex and just cum from regular touching and him going down on me. And I do not want to exhaust him for no reason , because I know he really wants to please me but I feel like I am hiding a secret.
Should I share that this is how I came in the past, would it be an insult to his efforts of going down on me?
Sorry, this was so long and unorganized, but if you have any input it would be greatly appreciated 🙂