Just a quick update and thanks for the overwhelming responses from people. I didn’t think I would quite receive that much advice. After reading through & speaking to several people I will almost certainly take the divorce route. I raised it this morning which caused a very big argument in which she became quite angry & even threatening. I focused this morning on deescalating that, but will find a way to calmly leave without her throwing a fit of rage and trying to get at me for leaving.
So thanks again, I think it will be a slow process, but I will be starting to leave in the near future.