So I recently started talking to a guy, and this isn’t the first time this has happened. At first, everything is fine, good conversation, I feel engaged, and there’s a natural flow. But after about a week, he starts coming on really strong with the flirting. It’s very forward, joking about marriage, saying how obsessed he is, overly complimenting my looks to the point where it feels kind of shallow, and even sending AI pictures of us together (insane, i know).
And honestly, it kind of kills the chemistry for me. It feels like the genuine connection we had just disappears. The ick settles in almost immediately.
At the same time, I feel like when I don’t reciprocate that level of flirtation that early, men start to lose interest. So now I’m wondering, was he doing too much, or am I unintentionally holding things back?
I’m def not anti-flirting, though, i love playful banter and witty back and forth actually. I’ve realized I just prefer building a solid, respectful connection first, and then letting the flirting develop naturally instead of forcing it right away. I guess I’m just trying to figure out if that approach is costing me, or if it’s actually just filtering out people who aren’t aligned with me.
edit: clarity