This is the place to put shower thoughts, your vents/rants about dating, requests for quick advice, serious (and sometimes not) questions and anything else that might not warrant a post of its own.
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Really struggling with the breakup today. I am not a fan of these waves, just when you think youre through it. I set up a FB dating and Bumble Account but flipped them to snooze right now. I need new pictures.
I talked to my new crush today! he told me his day off and now I know his name.
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Ugh I’m bummed. I met someone at a wedding this weekend and we spent the night talking, dancing, etc (maybe a little making out too). It was great.
We exchanged numbers and he hasn’t been getting back to me, so it’s clear it was a one-night thing for him. Which is fine, I knew it was a possibility, but I can’t help feeling bummed about it!
We went on vacation along the coast last week and it was fucking beautiful. We had very limited reception and no WiFi, and it was great to disconnect. Had some amazing food, hiked, went to the beach, spent the day in a cute coastal town, stargazed, and enjoyed the hell out of each other’s company. I love him so much 🥰 I’m so excited for our future together
Some photos if anyone is interested!
https://imgur.com/a/yGbq1Lk
How do people navigate finding out if you’re sexually compatible with your dates? Historically I have usually had sex early if I’m attracted to them, but I’ve now decided to stop doing this to limit getting hurt during the dating process.
I’m looking for someone who is sexually adventurous and matches my high libido. But I’m thinking maybe I save the conversation for further down the line, after we’ve established we like each other in other ways first?
Went on a second date yesterday. I think he’s really cute and we get along really well, but I don’t really find myself excited to see him, if that makes sense. I feel like we’re too similar with anxiety/being introverted and I guess I look for a partner that’s a bit more assertive and outgoing.
I might go on one more date with him next week, and it’ll be dinner instead of a casual walk. So maybe a change in scenery makes me feel differently.
I think i might already know the answer to this, but I waited a week for a first date with a guy from Hinge who was travelling for work and today (Tues) he said he has just had a gig (with his band) booked for the night of our date (Friday) and can I do the night after. No apology.
I can do the night after, but I’m no longer excited to meet him. WWYD?
Every time I go out I seem to be ignored in favor of taller, better-looking, more charming guys. Is there anything I can really do about it? Or should I just give up and settle for trying to go after the women they don’t want?
Not dating related but I’m not feeling well at all, this morning and all afternoon I felt fine, was going to go on a date and then boom. My headache and head cold came back full force.
As much as I like and care for my boyfriend, there are a few things he does that triggers me. I want to address these things with my therapist and see what she says. I’ll put it here too.
Basically, he brings up the people he’s dated previously in the past and sometimes will mention how he really liked them. What irks me is that I don’t really feel like these stories provide anything interesting to the conversation and leave me feeling weird on the inside. I don’t really need to hear that he almost went out on a date with some girl he was super excited about but something happened and he couldn’t go on that date. Or the time he had sex with a woman who did kegals with weights so she had an extra tight grip (um excuse me?). He did apologize for that one and said he may have said too much, but the damage was done. And the more we spend time together, the more these stories seem to pop up, and the more silent I become. I wish he could read the room and understand that they make me uncomfortable and I haven’t really responded positively to them. I’ve had a plethora of dates in my past with men I was very excited about, but I don’t bring these up to him because what good would come of it? My relationships were also deep and I guess I’ve had more dating/relationship experience than him even though he’s older than me. His relationships feel surface level based on his comments about them, maybe that’s why he feels more comfortable sharing them with me? Still, I feel a little ridiculous that I am insecure about it when I’ve been the girl he’s dated the longest in a while. At the same time, I can’t imagine most women (or people) wanting to hear things like that. It does make me question our compatibility and whether he’s emotionally attuned enough to my feelings. I do think he is receptive to feedback, and he thanks me for it, and he’s a good boyfriend outside from these moments, but I am a little tired of having to tell him the things he does I don’t like. I am tired of having to give him instruction on how to not say things that make me uncomfortable. I did this a lot in my first relationship with my ex in the very beginning, but we were in our early 20s and my ex is much more emotionally intelligent now than he was back then. I guess what I’m saying is, I’m not so sure my boyfriend is on the same emotional maturity level as me. He surprises me sometimes with his empathy towards others but a lot of other times, I see a disparity between us. Is there a gentle way I could bring this up to him without causing tension? I don’t want to break up with him over this because I do think he is a reasonable person and I am happy otherwise. However, I’m starting to feel like a naggy person who can’t find satisifaction in the relationship. He is really jovial and kind to everyone which is why I feel guilty like I am seen as this miserable person when placed beside him, who bears all these bad feelings or tries to find things to complain about 😞 I am tired of feeling like the bad guy here. But I feel like I am shrinking myself to avoid confronting him, basically putting his needs above my own so there is no added friction. I know what I need to say, but I hate having to say it. And he’s such a great person that I know he will try and correct himself for me, so I just need to say it. Anyway, that’s my vent for the day.
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Working through a recent ghosting of a girl I met on hinge. We matched back in January, had some decent conversations. Shared pictures with each other, etc. she had mentioned she was divorced and I said that was no issue to me. We went on two dates in total that I thought went well. After the second date, I tried to set up a third and got a “I’ll text you” in response.
That text never came. But in trying to be supportive, I sent a text after a week a few days before her first half marathon to be supportive. Still no response.
After 2 weeks I sent a text asking for a book that I leant her. After that I got a reply of “I need to apologize so badly, I really didn’t intend to ghost you. My anxiety definitely got the best of me. I wasn’t sure if I felt the romantic connection I’m looking for with you but I truly think you’re such a kind and genuinely lovely human. I really would actually love being friends with you, but I totally get that that might not be fair or something you want.”
I replied saying I appreciated the apology and tried to coordinate getting my book back (it’s sentimental because it was signed by the author when I took his class)…it’s been another week and no response…do I chalk it up as a loss at this point? I am hurt at how I genuinely thought things were going well just for it to blow up in my face.
Ok DOT. Can I get your opinions?
Have the chance to meet someone that I’ve only known from a distance up until this point. They don’t want to date with such a big distance between us, and I appreciate that, but we’ve been connected for an extraordinarily long time for being an online/text friendship.
I’m just starting to date someone that I see real potential with, and I don’t want things to get serious with them when this long distance person has ALWAYS been in the back of my mind as I’ve been dating locally. I just asked if I could come to their city to meet them to help me get some definite sense of what it’s actually like being around them in person. They agreed, but seemed dubious that it would help me (because they think it’ll just make it harder).
I’ve told a couple friends about this plan, and they said not to, but it just feels like I desperately need a solid in-person experience to make this person feel real and for the distance feel real and not just a little thing we can overcome. I’m hoping that we’ll meet and it won’t feel romantic, or I won’t be attracted to them the way I’ve imagined.
What are your thoughts?
Edit: okokok enough responses. Your will is known.
Overthinking the concept of “boy/girlfriend” and it’s so bizarre at this age. After 6 years single to boot. When I have no ideas of marriage and can’t fathom a long term relationship though it is something I used to want. Not opposed but I’m extremely realistic.
Been dating guy for 6 months and things are fine (we’re both just going with it, no expectations) and I’m thinking when speaking about him to others, I could just say boyfriend. It is just a label to clarify for others that it’s more than friends and I’ll never be caught dead saying lover. I don’t think I even need to discuss it with him because it is kind of meaningless to me because I know what the relationship is.
See? Overthinking.
its been almost a year and i still randomly get mad and have my day ruined, with no seeming warning or trigger, over memories of my ex abandoning me and the way she chose to end the relationship
i wish i had one of those men-in-black memory erasers
As an introvert I am so, so, so very tired of people telling me to just “go outside”. I’m a thirty-one year old woman who likes games, movies, listening to music and writing. I hang out with my friends; I go to birthday parties, I play tabletop games.
Sorry for the vent but I’m so tired of people telling me the same damn thing when I’ve tried for almost five years now. I can’t click with anyone, and the one guy I started liking turned me down. I’m so damned exhausted of being scared of going outside but desperate to find love at the same time.
Trying to get experience as an inexperienced person is so confusing and I don’t have the confidence for it. I don’t know that I really see anything long term with this guy, but I could at least make out with him a couple of times. I just do not have the confidence to be the one to initiate that conversation, propose something casual, be the one to make the first move or whatever. And I also feel really weird in these situations because I don’t feel the natural attraction so I kind of have to turn off that part of my brain in order to go along with the kissing or whatever and like, on the one hand I think it’s good for me to not overthink it and just kiss some guys so that at least I am sort of getting myself out of this stuck place of having near zero experience, but on the other hand, I hate going about it this way and wish I had whatever it is that other people have that makes them actually enjoy kissing strangers they’re not super into
He responded to a message with “awesome sauce” 😭 I cannot continue. Is this unreasonable?
Am I pacing my dates properly?
Basically, been on 4 dates with someone over about a month. Doesn’t sound like a lot, but work and sicknesses played a part. Every date has been great and we’ve always agreed to see each other again and we have some light hearted text conversations when we’re not together.
We live about an hour away from each other so it’s kinda hard to just see each other whenever but she works in my city so if her schedule fits, our dates have been after work
After every date though, it’s kinda just like “oh I had fun, we should do this” or “I’d really like to see you again” which sounds like good progress, but I always think I could be doing more like extending the date or something. I’m a bit reluctant as, like I said, she lives an hour away and I want her to get home at a reasonable time too. Our dates typically last 1.5-3 hours
I guess what I’m trying to ask is, is 1 month and 4 dates in still a bit early to be making or asking about any commitments? I’m interested in making things a bit more serious but I also don’t want to jump the gun
Anybody go on a date with they were smitten over? Like a crush? And you become very shy with them because you’re crushing so hard. Any anecdotal stories to share?
It feels impossible
Met someone off the dating app and it was a struggle. Guess I fell for guy who fell for a scammer. * Rolls eyes *
recently jumped back into the dating scene, and was reminded again that online dating sucks and it’s brutal out here lol
I 30F am dating 36M and am hoping for a third date and things were looking promising but he hasn’t asked me what I’m doing or locked in a time.
Date 1: really nice chatting and got to know each other over afternoon drinks that turned into dinner and bar hopping, that went for hours- with plenty of options for either of us to politely step out
Date 2: he booked us a fun activity and then we ended up getting a drink and some dinner. We had heaps of banter with each other and even other people in the bar (think dancing with older ladies/ playing pool doubles with randoms etc). We had a little kiss and cuddle before he left, and he messaged and checked in the next morning.
Date 3? there was some banter after date 2 about him owing me from one of our silly bets- and he seemed to be starting to suggest a plan but it has stalled.
Noticeably the energy from the week before was very different- proactive checking my schedule and booking something in vs. a vague sort of suggestion with no follow up.
His last message didn’t include a question or anything momentum building- I haven’t replied and am torn between replying or letting the conversation settle and seeing if he steps up with some new initiative and tries to lock in a 3rd date?