For the past few years I have struggled immensely with building genuine connections and building close friendships. The last time I had a "best friend" and some genuine friends was in 6th grade and now I am a sophomore in college. This previous year I really worked hard on myself and my mental health. I also worked hard to talk to others and I think I've become someone who can be approachable, funny and out going but I still have yet to have real or deep connections.
I know it takes time but also I think I am having difficulty really understanding how it works to create those deep, meaningful connections as opposed to just being funny and good at talking. So for you all I have a few related questions. Please answer if you have any insights, you don't have to answer all of them if you don't want to.
-
Generally speaking how do you build more meaningful and close bonds over shallow bonds?
-
How to open up to people? What do you expect when opening up to someone? How does it usually go? How do you know you can open up to someone and it will be mutually beneficial? (In the past I just opened up to anyone I thought was my friend, which meant I often found out I wasn't really as close to someone I thought I was at a vulnerable moment.)
-
How do you reach out to your friends for conversations? Do you message or call them on the weekends etc at all?
-
How do you find new connections and maintain connections if you're more introverted? (This previous year I really tired myself out pushing myself to be more extraverted than I naturally am, which harmed me in the long run as I fostered friendships with people who now expect that version of me all the time.)
Thank you all for reading this and answering if you did. : )