hello! 19F here using reddit as a last resort lol
because I don’t know what to do. I have always struggled with friendships (severe social anxiety, trouble opening up to people, etc) but i was wondering what i should do in this particular situation.
I have a friend who I would consider close, we have been vulnerable to one another when things got hard + we are both very open. however, i feel like i always have to walk on eggshells when i talk to him. he has the mentality that all his friends will leave him one day, and he expects me to leave as well, even though i have expressed how much i care about him and want him in my life. recently, however, he has turned my words against me, gets mad at me because he “overthinks” the stuff i said, and then begins to ghost me/dry text until i beg him to tell me what’s wrong/what i did wrong. this has happened about three times in the past month, and I’m really tired of it.
Each time we have a conversation, he seems to take everything I say the wrong way— and I am very careful at choosing my words (example: he got into a relationship with someone whom he used to hate. when I first found out, I said, “wait, I thought you weren’t on good terms with __. I’m assuming things are better now, though, so I’m glad to hear everything worked out!!” he took it as me not being happy for him and wondering why i was trying to jinx his relationship ??)
I feel like I’m putting too much effort into this friendship, but it would hurt a lot to let it go. I also find myself having to apologize for HIM overthinking, which doesn’t make much sense in hindsight??? I have been described as a kind and tolerant person, but I find myself very drained by this friendship
Overall, he often switches from being enthusiastic to dry, and doesn’t tell me when I did something that upset him unless I ask him. He also gets mad at me for things I didn’t even know I did wrong/things that were wrong by his standards. should i end this friendship??? I have attempted to talk about this with him multiple times, but nothing ever ends up changing. (P.S: I only have about three people who I could really consider friends, with him being one of them. It’s harder because he is someone who I have trusted for a while)