I apologize for the long paragraph, my mind is running and I tend to spill a lot of information ðŸ˜
soooo, it's been a couple days now and I'm still overthinking the heck out of this situation. Basically, I went to a concert in my city. I was alone as usual since all my buddies don't listen to the music I listen too and that never stops me, I always have a good time. Well, already surprisingly, I was way more confident this time and actually talked to a few people which almost never happens. I tend to stick to myself and just enjoy the show.
Anyhow, there was this one girl that completely took me off guard. After the first opening act, I turned around cause I felt someone behind me constantly and this shorter girl at about lower chest level to me (I'm 6 foot) with greenish hair, glasses, and dark lipgloss and eyeliner was standing directly behind me. We locked eyes for what felt like a few long seconds and wow, I was completely mesmerized because of how pretty I found her. She smiled at me, and I smiled at her. Now, of course, I struggle to talk to new people for the most part, and even more so with women… It's almost impossible for me to talk to any woman because of my extreme fear of rejection. So you can guess what I did, that's right, I didn't talk to her at all. I just kept to my phone waiting for the second opening band. My mind was running in circles tho because she was right there and I felt so guilty not saying anything.
After the second opening act ended, she was still right there, we locked eyes again and the same shit of just smiling at each other. I was really really going insane inside because she was clearly by herself, wasn't talking to anyone, and here I was, being so damn afraid that I wasn't able to talk to her. Yet I actually was speaking to a few other people around me, mainly a couple guys that actually started a conversation with me but nope, not her, I just couldn't at the time work up the courage to start talking to her.
Nearly before the headliner came out, I finally had the courage to do something. Since I was at the rail, and she was short and I could tell she was constantly trying to get closer between me and the guy next to me, I asked if she wanted to take my spot on the rail. She was extremely happy and thanked me and had such a beautiful smile from it. The headliner act started and it was nice. I was really having a good time by now especially my favorite band was out, I offered this beautiful woman my spot, and she seemed to be having such a blast. I did notice tho that she constantly kept looking back at me, or at least like side eying me. I don't know what was going through her head and I hope it was not like her being nervous that I was behind her now so I did my best to keep a distance since I didn't want to make her uncomfortable.
Anyways, once the headliner show ended, my nerves were starting to burst outta me… I knew that I would absolutely regret not saying something to her about how beautiful I found her because I always do, anytime I've ever been to a concert near a woman that I found extremely attractive, I never would say anything and I would regret it so much. Thankfully she stayed back while people were leaving and so did I. She turned to me and thanked me again. This time without thought, I did it, for the first time ever, as a 23 year old guy, I finally just did it, I said 'hey, not a problem at all, and I just wanna say that you are absolutely stunning, truly, I mean that". She had the biggest smile and told me "awwww, that is actually so sweet, thank you so much".
Now, since I was on a role, I then asked for her Instagram. The main reason for that is because all my friends always tell me to do Instagram first because most people are more comfortable giving that away than a phone number. I think that advice honestly screwed me over so bad here. she told me that "I'm sorry, unfortunately I don't have Instagram". Now in that moment, I took that as a rejection so I said "not a problem at all, just wanted to ask!". We talked for just a short while longer about the band like how we felt about this show and how much we listened to this band and how many times we've seen it. That was about it. She then said she had to get going so I wished her well as she did to me as well and that was that. I stayed back just a little longer to leave and create good distance.
Well, after that, the drive home was probably the most brutal overthinking experience for me, I was role-playing the scenario in my head over and over again wondering if I should've said something different, if I had talked to her way earlier in the show, if I should've asked for a phone number instead. Was I being too pushy, or too weird, was I reading too far into it, should I have just stuck with only telling her I found her stunning and left it at that. I am extremely proud of myself tho, for finally doing something I've always wanted to do but never had the courage to do it. I hope she wasn't weirded out by me saying that and asking for some kind of communication with her. I wish I could know what she was feeling in that moment and if I royaly screwed myself here.
I really really wish something more did come from it because I've always wanted to go on a date with a woman that enjoys similar music with me. Plus dating apps have been an absolute struggle these last couple years after my last long term relationship. I just wanted to put this out there in hopes of maybe getting some support, and especially some advice on what I can work on, how I can help this extreme fear I have, and what I could've done differently to change the outcome of this situation. Was Instagram the wrong choice to ask for. Did I not pursue it enough, did I pursue it too much, should I have asked for the phone number after she told me she didn't have Instagram, should I have asked to go get drinks after the concert since we were out by 10:30 PM, etc
if you've gotten this far, thank you so incredibly much from the bottom of my heart. Truly! I can't wait to hear all of your thoughts on this.