I was in bed after a long day and a tough gym session. I was pretty spent and ready to pass out. He came to bed and tried to initiate sex. I told him I’m really tired and not in the mood. He tried to push for it for sometime while cuddling. After he stopped that, he settled next to my face and kept blowing air right into my ear. Not the kind where you can just feel someone’s breath near you. I asked him to stop and he wouldn’t. Then I said something about the pillow being a little uncomfortable and he snatched it from under me and threw it away. After that, it just felt like I snapped. I could feel the anger in me and I tried to snatch his pillow. He is much stronger than me, I tried really hard and in that process I hit his face. I didn’t even realize that I hit him at the time. He just walked away and slept on the sofa.
I am truly ashamed of reacting this way. I have never done it before. I don’t remember ever feeling this angry. It’s not the first he has done this kind of thing. I’m used to him messing with me. And I usually deal with it better.
This morning, he said I assaulted him and what would I do if he did something like that. And when I think about it, I probably wouldn’t be able to get over it. I have tried apologizing and he doesn’t want to hear it. And I get it but I don’t know what to do. Is there any way that we’ll be able to get past this? What should I do?