Me and my boyfriend have been together 2 yrs. Things have been hot and cold, we’ve been having some tough life issues, but we work it out together. He sometimes has bad days where he wants to isolate/be alone. I try to respect that. I just ask that he lets me know so I’m not sitting there expecting an answer to what I’m saying (ie, “hey baby I’m busy today/hey babe I’m not feeling good today I’ll talk to you tomorrow or later) instead of just ghosting me.
He’s dealing with work and moving so I know it’s tough, but this month has been one of my worst months in a long time. I had a close family member pass away, one of my pets pass, and find out we’re having to leave our family house. I’m not doing well.
I saw him 2 weeks ago and everything was fine, we talked about stuff, chilled, he said he’ll try to text/call more and that he’ll see me sooner than usual and that he’ll let me know when. For context, we usually only see each other every 2 weeks or so, we live kind of far.
Out of the blue he stops responding. I gave it a few days assuming he was busy/not feeling good either. I waited and nothing. So I got worried and texted him a few times, nothing. Another few days go by so I try to call. He usually lets me know “hey sorry xyz is going on but I love you and everything’s ok.” He doesn’t do this. He declines all my calls then texts me “I need space rn.”
That day was the day I had to make a lot of funeral arrangements so I really needed him, I was having a shit fucking day, really hurt and grieving. I think this is selfish when I really need him at a time like this. Is this fair? I’ve only sent him one message since asking him how long he thinks he needs. And that I’ll respect what he wants, but have some respect for me too and just let me know.
It’s been a week and some change and he hasn’t said anything. I’m really upset and despite all the good we have and our plans together, and how hard we’ve worked to grow, I don’t know if I can be with someone who can push me away when I’m already really struggling with something this hard. I’m trying to be understanding that he has his emotional issues/own mental illness but I think this is a neglectful thing to do to me right now of all times, especially with no explanation.
I’m split because half of me understands he has his emotional needs, but I also have mine and this is really fucked to do to me right now. Part of me wants to tell him all this and work it out, but I feel like this is gonna be hard to forgive. He’s allowed to have boundaries, but what do you do when they’re hurting you?
Btw worry for weird formatting I’m on mobile.