Pls be harsh or scolding or whatever if u think I'm wrong or ungratefull or idk whatever u think I am I wouldn't ask random people on Reddit just to hear comforting bs. It's just my Dad is dead for years now and I thought maybe some guys with more live experience?! or similar Circumstances or just idk anyone else could maybe help me or at least tell me I'm the bad guy or whatever.
I'm in a predicament, I think u need a bit of the backstory to understand why I'm feeling the way I do.
I grew up with my single mom until I was 11 then she put me in a psychiatric clinic until I was ~12½ and shortly after my 13. Birthday she put me into a Orphanage. At 15 I looked for a Job as far away from that place and my mom as possible ( 400km so basically the the other side of the country I live in). And for 6 years now I work a full time job as Line Cook (~40h a week in spring and Fall and 60+ hours a week in winter and summer).
I make minimal wage but because I worked on and of Nightshifts and weekend shifts at supermarkets and Gas stations I have a bit of money saved. Anyways my mom thinks she can claim my Money and basically all my free time because she was a "Mother" for me for 21 years and now it's her turn to have fun.
As I said maybe I'm the piece of shit here, but I most of the time gave her money and helped watched my siblings just for the sake of my siblings cause I know how she can get when thing's don't go her way.
But I'm just so burned out now sometimes 14+ hours of work at Big Caterings, then 5 hours taking the Bus to watch my siblings for the night followed by another 10+ hour shift.
But I have exactly nothing from the 7 hours babysitting cause "I owe her enough" or from my (sometimes) 60- 70+ hours of overtime a month because she needs money or my siblings go hungry.
The post is longer than I thought it would be I'm sorry I'm just tired but if anyone sees this, any answers is appreciated.
Edit: I'm not quite sure if that's the kind of post that this subreddit is for I'm sorry I'm new to reddit and this is my first post ever pls tell me if I did anything wrong.
I just wanted to ask that question for almost 1½ years now but don't have anyone irl.
Edit 2 : just to clarify I'm not searching for pity I'm crying uncontrollably since the first answer came in almost an hour ago but I'm rly just looking for a 2. Opinion and if there is any possible way to kind of just rest for a bit or whatever without having to let anyone down.
Edit 3 : It kinda feels good to hear all of you say I got my shit together or build something for myself.
But I won't lie to myself. I only told you about my problems and what I work. Nothing about me I'm rly not that good of a person.
Yeah I care about my siblings a lot and I managed to get a job but I'm also an Alcoholic and seriously addicted to opioids. I'm a functioning addict with 3 Jobs but I'm still a addict.