Hello all here! Am a tad new, but I found this subreddit and I honestly feel excited.
I will explain: my brain is a bit neurodiverse. Am a DID system, as well. So socializing is quiet frankly complicated. I also have severe anxiety as well as Borderline Personality Disorder.
However! I've found ways to get a round both my memory issues, as well as my lack of understanding.
Here are some tips:
- Put all your little odds and ends you have related to people and your life in one place.
I made a private discord server with labels for this reason, and I forward information, videos, concepts, and reminders to it. (This also trains your brain to store it in the right place!) This thing for you could be a notebook that's tiny you carry around.
- Focus on what you truly can sustain socially versus what others have.
You are capable of having multiple meaningful relationships, but the degree you may have them might not be as frequently as you think. That is okay. (Placing the expectation on yourself to perfect or make every friendship super deep and meaningful can harm your self esteem, and also cause you to share information prematurely.)
- If you are embarrassed by something you said, it's good to remember the difference between humility and being overly critical.
Chances are, if you are saying "oh, huh, I thought I knew this much, but I didn't. Thanks for the new information!" People will find commonality.
Versus apologizing, and saying "I'm sorry, I'm so stupid" or "I should've known better, I'm an idiot" . (Apologizing unnecessarily creates what feels like an emotional detour, in my experience. I found out that by not apologizing, I found more fulfillment and continuity in what I was talking about. As I was able to connect further and longer, rather than detracting from conversation)
- Finding at least one thing in common with someone is the quickest way to build bridges!