What’s a lesson you learned from another woman that stuck with you?
March 15, 2026
What’s a lesson you learned from another woman that stuck with you?
45 comments
Don’t lose your ability to earn money for yourself
Pawn your good jewelry in times of financial crisis.
I had forgotten how much fine jewelry that I had acquired over the years. I’ve pawned them twice in 20 years and was thankful both times. Yes, I paid it off and got it all back.
A closed mouth don’t get fed.
I used to be afraid when I was younger to ask about pay at work.
People remember your personality not how much money you make…… live beautiful inside out
Watching all of the women in my life growing up not have any choices, be abused, and have their light dimmed and dulled for a man, I learned to never be fully dependent on a man and to always ensure that I have options.
My step mom: “all men are assholes. All women are bitches. You have to find the bitch or asshole that resonates with your inner bitch.”
She was being funny at the time because I was upset and swearing up a storm at 16 years old. It was intended to shock me back into a space to listen. It worked. And what she meant was humans are human. They’re messy. When you pick your people, pick the kind of messy you can live with and help with. Because you won’t find a perfect human that’ll do everything exactly how you think is right. You have to let humans be human and find the ones you love for just that reason, for their flaws. For their anger, their ugly scars, their faults. Love is unconditional. It can’t be earned. By its very nature it demands that you see the ugliness and love that too.
She just had an interesting opener.
One of my friend’s mom’s sat me down and gave me some advice I’ve never forgotten:
Don’t rely on tipped jobs because when you need the social security and benefits they aren’t there. It’s fine to waitress or bartend on the weekends for extra cash but get a main job with benefits no matter how pitiful the pay.
When you make a budget include things like weed and eyeliner or you’ll be robbing Peter to pay Paul.
If a man ever hits you, leave him immediately.
We lived in a rough neighborhood and it was the real advice I needed at the time.
Being single is much better than being married to a man. She told me this 10 years. I didn’t understood this back then but I definitely agree now
My mom. “*Don’t let ignorance be your downfall, and don’t get caught with your pants down*.”
Don’t ever let a man handle your finances
Past behaviour predicts future behaviour
I learned how important it is to maintain your independence and capabilities from seeing women who were overly reliant on men end up in a bad place when those men left or died. Though it happens to men, too. I don’t want my power to go out because I don’t know how to pay the power bill, or who even the provider is, you know.
Ejae from Kpop Demon hunters said “rejection is redirection” and I think about that quote everyday.
You don’t have to get married.
Buy yourself a diamond ring
A detective told me to read the book The Gift of Fear. I have yet to read it, I need to. That was like 10 years ago. But she did say to trust my gut.
My grandmother drilled into my head that I always need to have my own money even if I’m married.
Being alone isn’t worse than staying in a bad relationship. Feeling lonely, abused, and misunderstood while you’re attached is a miserable state to live in.
Have a separate bank account! Always save
Don’t trust any woman including a relative with your man
Always have your own.
I don’t know if this counts but when I was younger, I remembered being in a convenience store and as I walked out. There was this man that was trying to get the attention of a woman walking past. I now know this is catcalling.
She walked with a purpose, carried on walking and when the man was trying to get her attention, I heard her say. ‘I don’t have time for this’.
I was always a shy young lady and still was until about 28 but I always remember that moment when I’m in a situation where a man gives me unwanted attention or makes me uncomfortable.
I felt like that women accidentally taught me to be assertive and carry on
I’m stealing some of these lessons by the way. 😅
The only one I know is don’t financially depend on anyone, no matter who it is.
I found this out the hard way when I went through a break up. All I had was my gas money to come back home & a few savings. 😭🙏🏽
“Putting other people first makes you a doormat. Put your family and friends first only if they do the same for you. If you aren’t going to stand up for yourself, go ahead and assume nobody will.”
I still struggle with this, but I’ve been burned enough to know it’s true, broadly speaking.
“The bee doesn’t waste time, trying to convince the fly that honey is better than shit”, don’t waste your time arguing with idiots. My Grandmother this was just one of her quotes
That doing everything for a man, and constantly putting him above yourself, does not mean he will love or respect you more. It means quite the opposite actually. I noticed this as a little girl and still see it as an adult. Glad I learned this at a young age.
If a man can feed you, a man can starve you
Don’t use face wash in the mornings. Just rinse with water if u have dry skin. I’m not ashy anymore yay
Don’t rely on men.
Seems simple enough, right? Except it was never said or spoken aloud.
I simply don’t have a single successful man in my bloodline. They are all deadbeats, alcoholics, felons, etc…. the women in my family are the breadwinners and successful people.
It was a lesson learned through viewing how the women in my family overcame the circumstances these men put them through.
Growing up, I was taught to be very emotionally immature and passive aggressive. As an adult, I sent a passive aggressive text to a friend and she immediately called me to address my feelings and solve the problem. This was the start of improved communication journey.
I was also brought up to feel like I was in competition with others, particularly women. One of my first friends in grad school was my biggest cheerleader and showed me really how women can support women. I saw how much healthier her friendships were and decided I wanted more friendships like she had.
Be your own best friend
Have the scratchiest face cloth and you’ll never need to buy a scrub! Told to me in a Macy’s bathroom by two old ladies back in 1981 and I never forgot it.
Surround yourself with women professionally. Promote women and support women at work. Men will almost always want something from you. Lean on the women at work.
You are not a mother for a husband. You should be best friends and have each other’s back.
Deep heat is a great alternative to pepper spray. Pepper spray is illegal in my country.
Your no is someone else’s opportunity.
Basically, you shouldn’t feel guilty for saying no to doing something you’re really not interested in.
My brother’s ex (girlfriend at the time) told me to stop saying sorry all the time. She was so blunt about it that I was really taken aback, and that was the day I stopped saying sorry unless I meant it.
“You can’t have it all” talking about having a career and a family. She was SO right.
OPPO
Don’t waste time on men who are not providers
“You can be the most beautiful girl in the room, but if you’re not confident, no one will notice or care.”
Said to me when I was seventeen by one of my classmates.
I had my glow up about ten years later. I changed nothing about me except my confidence levels. Holy crow, she was right.
I was a student attending a Women in Engineering lunch with the purpose of retaining young women in male-dominated fields. Older female mentors were recruited to have a talk with us youngsters.
I asked the woman at my table some general softball question, “What do you like about your career?” or something like that.
She said, “It sucks, not worth it, don’t bother. It will never get any easier. The hostile culture is relentless.”
I didn’t wholly believe her at the time, but it stuck with me, that’s for sure. Allegedly she volunteered for this feel-good hour!
It’s ok to take up space. – Sister told me this when I was making myself small to fit in.
Dont marry a man who does not have a drive. If he wasnt working making something of himself before meeting you, he wont be doing it after meeting you either. He needs to be an ambitious man irrespective of you being with him or not.
Seen so many men turn into jobless parasites just sitting at home doing nothing and being a burden on their wives. Its like theres an epidemic of lazy jobless boyfriends/husbands. 🤮
Check your state for premarital asset laws if planning to marry, and make sure to not mix ALL your finances together no matter what
People will judge you no matter what you do. So just keep doing the things that you love as long as it’s not harming anyone.
45 comments
Don’t lose your ability to earn money for yourself
Pawn your good jewelry in times of financial crisis.
I had forgotten how much fine jewelry that I had acquired over the years. I’ve pawned them twice in 20 years and was thankful both times. Yes, I paid it off and got it all back.
A closed mouth don’t get fed.
I used to be afraid when I was younger to ask about pay at work.
People remember your personality not how much money you make…… live beautiful inside out
Watching all of the women in my life growing up not have any choices, be abused, and have their light dimmed and dulled for a man, I learned to never be fully dependent on a man and to always ensure that I have options.
My step mom: “all men are assholes. All women are bitches. You have to find the bitch or asshole that resonates with your inner bitch.”
She was being funny at the time because I was upset and swearing up a storm at 16 years old. It was intended to shock me back into a space to listen. It worked. And what she meant was humans are human. They’re messy. When you pick your people, pick the kind of messy you can live with and help with. Because you won’t find a perfect human that’ll do everything exactly how you think is right. You have to let humans be human and find the ones you love for just that reason, for their flaws. For their anger, their ugly scars, their faults. Love is unconditional. It can’t be earned. By its very nature it demands that you see the ugliness and love that too.
She just had an interesting opener.
One of my friend’s mom’s sat me down and gave me some advice I’ve never forgotten:
Don’t rely on tipped jobs because when you need the social security and benefits they aren’t there. It’s fine to waitress or bartend on the weekends for extra cash but get a main job with benefits no matter how pitiful the pay.
When you make a budget include things like weed and eyeliner or you’ll be robbing Peter to pay Paul.
If a man ever hits you, leave him immediately.
We lived in a rough neighborhood and it was the real advice I needed at the time.
Being single is much better than being married to a man. She told me this 10 years. I didn’t understood this back then but I definitely agree now
My mom. “*Don’t let ignorance be your downfall, and don’t get caught with your pants down*.”
Don’t ever let a man handle your finances
Past behaviour predicts future behaviour
I learned how important it is to maintain your independence and capabilities from seeing women who were overly reliant on men end up in a bad place when those men left or died. Though it happens to men, too. I don’t want my power to go out because I don’t know how to pay the power bill, or who even the provider is, you know.
Ejae from Kpop Demon hunters said “rejection is redirection” and I think about that quote everyday.
You don’t have to get married.
Buy yourself a diamond ring
A detective told me to read the book The Gift of Fear. I have yet to read it, I need to. That was like 10 years ago. But she did say to trust my gut.
My grandmother drilled into my head that I always need to have my own money even if I’m married.
Being alone isn’t worse than staying in a bad relationship. Feeling lonely, abused, and misunderstood while you’re attached is a miserable state to live in.
Have a separate bank account! Always save
Don’t trust any woman including a relative with your man
Always have your own.
I don’t know if this counts but when I was younger, I remembered being in a convenience store and as I walked out. There was this man that was trying to get the attention of a woman walking past. I now know this is catcalling.
She walked with a purpose, carried on walking and when the man was trying to get her attention, I heard her say. ‘I don’t have time for this’.
I was always a shy young lady and still was until about 28 but I always remember that moment when I’m in a situation where a man gives me unwanted attention or makes me uncomfortable.
I felt like that women accidentally taught me to be assertive and carry on
I’m stealing some of these lessons by the way. 😅
The only one I know is don’t financially depend on anyone, no matter who it is.
I found this out the hard way when I went through a break up. All I had was my gas money to come back home & a few savings. 😭🙏🏽
“Putting other people first makes you a doormat. Put your family and friends first only if they do the same for you. If you aren’t going to stand up for yourself, go ahead and assume nobody will.”
I still struggle with this, but I’ve been burned enough to know it’s true, broadly speaking.
“The bee doesn’t waste time, trying to convince the fly that honey is better than shit”, don’t waste your time arguing with idiots. My Grandmother this was just one of her quotes
That doing everything for a man, and constantly putting him above yourself, does not mean he will love or respect you more. It means quite the opposite actually. I noticed this as a little girl and still see it as an adult. Glad I learned this at a young age.
If a man can feed you, a man can starve you
Don’t use face wash in the mornings. Just rinse with water if u have dry skin. I’m not ashy anymore yay
Don’t rely on men.
Seems simple enough, right? Except it was never said or spoken aloud.
I simply don’t have a single successful man in my bloodline. They are all deadbeats, alcoholics, felons, etc…. the women in my family are the breadwinners and successful people.
It was a lesson learned through viewing how the women in my family overcame the circumstances these men put them through.
Growing up, I was taught to be very emotionally immature and passive aggressive. As an adult, I sent a passive aggressive text to a friend and she immediately called me to address my feelings and solve the problem. This was the start of improved communication journey.
I was also brought up to feel like I was in competition with others, particularly women. One of my first friends in grad school was my biggest cheerleader and showed me really how women can support women. I saw how much healthier her friendships were and decided I wanted more friendships like she had.
Be your own best friend
Have the scratchiest face cloth and you’ll never need to buy a scrub! Told to me in a Macy’s bathroom by two old ladies back in 1981 and I never forgot it.
Surround yourself with women professionally. Promote women and support women at work. Men will almost always want something from you. Lean on the women at work.
You are not a mother for a husband. You should be best friends and have each other’s back.
Deep heat is a great alternative to pepper spray. Pepper spray is illegal in my country.
Your no is someone else’s opportunity.
Basically, you shouldn’t feel guilty for saying no to doing something you’re really not interested in.
My brother’s ex (girlfriend at the time) told me to stop saying sorry all the time. She was so blunt about it that I was really taken aback, and that was the day I stopped saying sorry unless I meant it.
“You can’t have it all” talking about having a career and a family. She was SO right.
OPPO
Don’t waste time on men who are not providers
“You can be the most beautiful girl in the room, but if you’re not confident, no one will notice or care.”
Said to me when I was seventeen by one of my classmates.
I had my glow up about ten years later. I changed nothing about me except my confidence levels. Holy crow, she was right.
I was a student attending a Women in Engineering lunch with the purpose of retaining young women in male-dominated fields. Older female mentors were recruited to have a talk with us youngsters.
I asked the woman at my table some general softball question, “What do you like about your career?” or something like that.
She said, “It sucks, not worth it, don’t bother. It will never get any easier. The hostile culture is relentless.”
I didn’t wholly believe her at the time, but it stuck with me, that’s for sure. Allegedly she volunteered for this feel-good hour!
It’s ok to take up space. – Sister told me this when I was making myself small to fit in.
Dont marry a man who does not have a drive. If he wasnt working making something of himself before meeting you, he wont be doing it after meeting you either. He needs to be an ambitious man irrespective of you being with him or not.
Seen so many men turn into jobless parasites just sitting at home doing nothing and being a burden on their wives. Its like theres an epidemic of lazy jobless boyfriends/husbands. 🤮
Check your state for premarital asset laws if planning to marry, and make sure to not mix ALL your finances together no matter what
People will judge you no matter what you do. So just keep doing the things that you love as long as it’s not harming anyone.