my girlfriend and i are both german. we’ve been together for the past 3 years, but recently our relationship became long distance because i got transferred to the uk for work and she stayed in germany because her job and family are there.
at first everything felt normal. we text a lot, call almost every day, the usual long distance stuff. but over the last few weeks something started bothering me and i can’t tell if i’m overthinking or if my gut is trying to tell me something.
she started sending me a lot of pictures and videos from work. and i mean a lot. which isn’t weird by itself, i guess. but the thing is, almost all of them involve this one coworker of hers. like “omg look what he just did lol” or “he just said the funniest thing” or “everyone in the office loves him”. she’ll also randomly update me about things he said during the day. it’s not always directly about him, but he’s always… there.
according to her, all the girls in the office are really friendly with him and he’s like the “funny guy” of the place. but idk. the amount she talks about him started making me uncomfortable.
and i feel kinda weird admitting this, but he’s literally the exact stereotype of the “exotic brazilian guy” people joke about. Tall, green eyes, tan skin, thick dark hair. like, annoyingly good looking. he’s also young (about 22), which makes me more wary. i know that sounds weird to notice but it’s hard not to. and honestly, i just can’t understand it. my girlfriend is really intelligent, but from what i’ve seen this guy doesn’t seem to have much going on in his head. he just comes across as kind of an idiot to me. i wouldn’t normally care that much, but hearing about him all the time started getting in my head.
eventually i told her how i felt. i tried to be calm about it and not sound accusatory, just said the situation was making me insecure. she immediately said nothing has ever happened between them. she even went as far as calling him over and asking him to send me a voice message saying the same thing.
he sent this super casual audio like “hey friend, don’t worry, we’re just coworkers, nothing going on here”.
and for some reason hearing his voice just filled me with this irrational wave of anger. like instantly.
i know that’s not exactly rational. the guy didn’t do anything wrong (as far as i know). but hearing him talk so comfortably about the situation made me feel even more out of control.
now i’m stuck in this loop in my head. part of me thinks: if something was actually going on, why would she constantly send me stuff about him? wouldn’t she try to hide it instead?
but another part of me keeps thinking maybe something is slowly developing and i’m just the last one noticing.
so yeah. am i just being the insecure long-distance boyfriend here, or does this situation sound off to anyone else? i genuinely can’t tell anymore.