I’m a high libido male in a dead bedroom for 7 yrs with my low libido wife. We recently had another talk a couple weeks ago. I aired everything out again, how I feel, what I want to see changed, etc. we had sex a couple days later. And immediately went right back to nothing again. No affection, emotional distance, etc. I stopped initiating years ago due to the hurt, but after this talk, I think I’m going to begin again. I initiated last night (somewhat in a feral way) and was rejected, but it didn’t hurt like before. Maybe I’m jaded and expected it.
The problem is, since sex has become so infrequent, and the type of sex really vanilla, I find that my desires are more exaggerated in the type of sex I want now. Maybe because the emotional distance and lack of desire on her part has made me want an extreme version of desire – one that is more animalistic and out of control.
Anybody else dealing with this? And does anyone have success stories of bringing this up and actually seeing their sexless marriage turn around?
This might not be the time to introduce it, but maybe it’s the exact time to do so. 🤷🏻