So this post is going to be insanely long but here goes, any advice is greatly appreciated.
My husband and I recently started therapy because we have a lot of deep rooted issues after being together for 12 years. We’re married for 3. We have communication issues and we definitely both cross boundaries that we shouldn’t. Most recently we had an argument because I wasn’t feeling well over the weekend and my husband had to get some extra work done. I asked him if he would take our 2 year old to her 30 minute dance class and he flipped out saying “I guess you’re not going to give me ANY time to work today” “it’s convenient that you’re sick now when I have things to get done” “you’re never supportive when I have work to do an you know I’m stressed” so I wound up taking her to dance, to a coffee date afterwards and then to the grocery store. We were out of the house for over 3 hours. When I got home we put her down for a nap and had all the groceries to put away. My husband filled up his water and then went to go back to work, so I asked him if he could help out the groceries away as I felt that was the least he could do. He literally lost it and started talking down to me saying that he still has work to do and of course I’m not giving him the time he needs to work etc… I then asked if we could discuss the earlier argument because my feelings were extremely hurt that he would accuse me of lying about being sick and also just had no care that I wasn’t feeling well. Well the fight escalated and we wound up screaming at eachother and saying some really nasty things (he told me I’m a fat c*** and a horrible mother who didn’t want to take our daughter to dance) and I told him that he has anxiety/ stress issues and can’t get his work done in a timely manner because of it and he needs to learn to be more efficient at his job. I wound up following him around the house to try and discuss everything and he flipped out stating that of course I was preventing him from working, he knew this would happen, etc…
Anyway, we talk to a couples therapist and explained the situation to her, she basically said that his overload/ stress at work is no excuse to take it out on those around him, especially not his wife. He got visibly angry on the therapy session and since then we have barely spoken all week. He told me that he’s uninterested in continuing therapy because she’s clearly taking my side. I need to know if I’m the crazy one here or if my feelings are valid/ the therapist is generally trying to guide us.