I (41F) just moved to Portland, OR from Austin, TX, and the dating scene is so weird up comparatively. Totally understand Austin has more people that are single and it’s just a different vibe with the constant sunshine and warmth, but even considering that, it’s still, just, well odd.
I am an educated, well traveled, athletic, quirky, cute, and of normal weight. So, I tend to look for the same.
In the past three months I have dated 3 people, and they all have something that’s off. On paper, and profiles, they all seem to match what I’m looking for but when push comes to shove that off-ness shines thru.
For example:
Guy#1: talks a big game of how him being a guy with a high EQ, he has a lot of guy friends that se him as their best friend. After our second date, where he asked to kiss me, he just ups and ghosts me.
Ok, whatever, some people are flakes.
Guy#2: we dated for a month and when we went exclusive he said he was afraid I was going to break up with him, with no reason given. A week later he freaks out on me and says we are too different and breaks up with me before I could break up with him.
Ok, no worries, dude has abandonment issues. Move along.
Guy#3: go on 4 dates, 3rd date we make our heavy in my car, then on the 4th date we hook up. After we hook up, as I’m laying naked next to him, he starts talking about his ex gf and how she BPD and asks me to leave bc he’s not ready for someone to spend the night quiet yet. A few days later he texts me saying he’s not ready to date and doesn’t want to waste my time.
Alright, he has relationship trauma he hasn’t processed. Next
Guy#4: he says he is a slow burn and bad at texting. At the end of the first date he says he wants to hang out again. Nine days pass til our second date, with him only initiating texting once. Second date goes well and then he sends a text the a few days later saying he doesn’t feel that much of a connection.
How can he feel a connection when we’ve barely seen each other and he barely texts to get to know me?
Now I’m just deeply frustrated bc I’m picking guys in my age range, asking deal breaker questions before we meet up, and pacing things slowly to not rush into anything and I keep ending up with dudes who are just off.
This never happened in this frequency down in Austin. My friend, male, who moved up here from California says that he’s experienced the same thing.
What gives Portland people? Is it me or is the dating up here just weird??