We recently had an argument while out shopping, and I’m not sure how I could have handled it better.
I am going on a trip soon and traditionally we always buy gifts for each family (relatives), so it was quite a costly trip. On top of that, I recently bought a house, so expenses have been really piling up. While we were out, she asked where we should eat. I told her it was up to her, but mentioned that we already had food at home that was prepared at lunch. But I mentioned I wouldn't mind going out but ideally somewhere not too expensive.
This frustrated her. She said she feels limited and upset when she has to think about price for even basic things like eating out. She’s used to treating herself without worrying about cost, whereas I’m currently being more cautious because of all the expenses I have. She got angry and seemed hurt that I was considering the cost of a single meal.
I understand that her perspective on money is different from mine, but I also feel that with all my current financial commitments, spending £40–50 on a meal when we already had food at home isn’t reasonable.
I want to find a way to approach situations like this in the future without causing conflict. How can I balance being financially responsible while also respecting her mindset about spending? How could I have communicated better in this situation?
TL;DR: I [29M] told my girlfriend [31F] I’d rather not spend £40–50 on a meal when we already had food at home. She got upset about having to consider cost. How do I handle money differences without conflict?