Hi everyone.
So my boyfriend and I have been dating for nearly 5 years and have lived together for four. We recently moved to a new city together for a good job offer I had, and after 2 months of searching around in this area he also got a job offer today that he is very happy with.
We are some what religious (Jewish) and for the past few years his family, some of our friends, and local rabbis have questioned why we are not married yet. I have always been ready to get married but we were in PhD programs which were definitely stressful and getting the dissertations done was really rough. So I figured you know after we defended or graduated then we would get married. But then I thought, oh, well he probably wants to get a good job first, which has now happened.
My feelings were hurt because as soon as he got his offer he starts getting all excited about visiting his friends and planning a boys trip to New York this weekend, and he just bought himself a PS5 also as a "got a job" reward. I mentioned how he would spend at least a grand going to New York and he asked why I'm on him about money, and after skirting the issue for a bit I admitted to him that I figured he was trying to save up for a ring, or that he didn't have enough money for one yet, yet he has tons of money to spend on a new PS5 or to go on this trip. I told him it hurt my feelings that engagement wasn't a priority for him and that he was more excited to just go see his friends then to make that commitment to me, now that literally nothing is in our way.
He got really really upset and sad when I mentioned this and said some mean things about me, like oh I can't just be happy for him, blah blah blah. Again it's not like I saw him sign the offer and went, RING NOW, but given that he just saw his friend a month ago for an NFL game (tickets which I helped secure), and that we just went on an international vacation largely funded by me, IDK I thought maybe saving up for a ring for me would be more of a priority than going on a boys trip. I guess I also just realized that money hasn't been an obstacle for him, like that's not why he hasn't proposed yet, because clearly he has funds to spare.
Mind you a big holiday is coming up in April and I was sort of dreading going to his family's home as his girlfriend for the 5th year in a row, because again, they're pestered us about getting married and I find it quite embarrassing. Two of his cousins have started dating gotten married and had kids within the time frame that we have just been dating.
TL;DR I told my boyfriend, who was celebrating a new job offer, that I was disappointed that going on a boy's trip to New York was higher priority for him than getting engaged to me, and he got really upset.