So I’ve been on 3 dates with this guy now and today I managed to ask if he wants kids. His immediate answer was yes, family is important to him. And I realize we didn’t go further about this being deal breaker / accommodations / etc.
I shared my answer which is: I don’t know. I’m still learning more about myself and have only in the past 2 years become open to a LTR (right now I am 24F) and that’s all been new to me.
In terms of kids, I really don’t know my answer. Maybe my mind will change as I grow in the next couple years and maybe it won’t. Maybe it truly depends on the right partner. I also have reservations about being too much like my parents. We talked about how some of that is unavoidable but you also become better yourself. I also am terrified of being responsible for another life or the stuff my body will go through.
Anyways, he didn’t say it’s a deal breaker outright and if/when these dates seem to be becoming something more I will absolutely bring it up again. Like “before we go further I know you want kids but how do you feel about my uncertainty. If I decide I don’t want them, would you be okay with that?”
Anyways, all that being said: Is this something I should have figured out before I start dating? I wouldn’t want him to “hold onto the hope” of possibility of kids if it’s a definite for him and I’m all unclear over here.