My husband and I have been married for 9 years and together for 14. I’ve always struggled with weight and eating disorder. During our relationship I’ve gained and lost weight and had gone to therapy etc. I finally feel like I have a good handle on my weight and eating. I’m in a good mental space when it comes to food and I’m finally a normal BMI. The issue is that I lost too much weight too fast (wegovy) and now I am too bony and thin and have saggy skin. It was very hard for my husband to finally tell me that he wasn’t sexually attracted to me anymore. He loves me so much and he doesn’t want it to impact our relationship. He’s always been attracted to me even when I was my heaviest. It’s really painful to know that he doesn’t want to touch me or be with me. Before he told me this I was already looking into plastic surgery to tighten and remove loose skin. I will say, I do have loose skin but it’s not super terrible or toooo much. Basically what I’m trying to say is that I still look pretty good and he says the way I look doesn’t bother him. It’s when he actually touches me or has sex with me. He says it just feels so different and not good. We agreed to try some different positions to see if we can find something that might make him not feel so much bone etc. however, when it’s time to try he just doesn’t want to and doesn’t want to be “forced” to do something that doesn’t feel good. I would never force him and it kills me to know I can’t do much about it. I’ve been trying to gain some weight and still looking into getting plastic surgery but we don’t know if this will help. He said he’s going to try talking with his therapist but she’s not an actual sex therapist so idk if it would even help or not. He says he wants to fix this and he’s sad that this is happening and he wishes he didn’t feel this way. We have 2 beautiful kids and on a day to day our life is normal and happy. Then at night when we go to bed we remember the issue and it gets sad each time. I don’t know what I’m even looking for on here. I just needed to vent. Usually he’s the one I go to with all my issues. He’s my best friend and we’re so good together so I feel lost and sad.
Does anyone have any recommendations on how to handle being with someone who isn’t sexually attracted to you anymore? We're hoping plastic surgery will help as well as me trying to gain some muscle weight but I'm not sure what else to do. I feel like it's all on me so it's stressful and I don't want to lose my marriage.