Man oh man. Purpose matters. I feel like I completely lost the plot somewhere in my late 40s. Now looking to live again – how have you handled purpose?
33 comments
Here’s an original copy of /u/Broke_Pigeon_Sales’s post (if available):
Man oh man. Purpose matters. I feel like I completely lost the plot somewhere in my late 40s. Now looking to live again – how have you handled purpose?
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AskMenOver30) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I’ve always felt purpose is chosen by you yourself. Life is given meaning when you can figure something(s) out to make it your purpose (large or small.)
Im here for a good time, not a long time. Do what you love and practice gratitude
Wow okay, so I may be tired but I read “Man on man.” and was like “okay, here we go…” lol.
Anyway… early 40s. Constant setbacks. Learned to be more go with the flow and find the enjoyment of where life goes. Sometimes going with the stream is pretty chill for a while.
In the end, being happy, entertained, and caring for those I care for in ways I reasonably can.
Think the issue of losing the plot is that there isn’t a plot. You sort of have to make it up.
For the first time in my life yes.
I finally get the opportunity to make myself happy first. Decorate the apartment how want. Buy the harley. Bang 22 year olds. Build that workshop.
Put your wants and needs above everyone else. You’ve earned it.
EDIT: for everyone downvoting, this is literally what women say every day. They love themselves first. Time for you to start doing the same.
I don’t care about purpose, a few lifetimes at most past mine, if I’m lucky, and it will be as if I never even was.
The closest thing I have to purpose is “for the satisfaction of it”
Curiosity, knowledge, movement, challenge… these things are satisfying, so I take aim at them.
I feel like life is pointless. I try to enjoy each day and spend time with hobbies that make me happy. I also try to be a good person and not make life any harder for anyone.
I don’t think I have a purpose. I don’t think anyone is really that important. I do stuff that I enjoy and I try to live a good life. To me that means living within my means, staying fit and healthy and just doing my best each day.
I actually retired early and did so to have more leisure time. I do things on the cheap though.
Accepting there is none.
I’m just trying to have as much fun as I can with the understanding that the future is not guaranteed. I count my blessings when I spend time with my family. I try to do as many things as I can. I am developing an Indie game by myself and I also try to get out on my dirt bike every week.
I take my job seriously but I also try to do the bare minimum to be a valuable employee. You are not getting extras out of me unless there truly is an emergency, then I’ll do what it takes to fix it.
I also quit all social media except reddit.
I don’t know. I’m almost 37, and I’ve never felt like I need a purpose. To me, work is for money, not any kind of validation or anything.
I just want to enjoy my time with my family and friends, and be a neighbor who minds his own business, but will help if I can.
Maybe that’s my purpose, I guess. I just don’t need an overarching theme. I’m not sure if that’s what you’re getting at, I may be understanding.
The purpose of life is to find your gift.
The work of life is to develop your gift.
The meaning of life is to give your gift away …
FYI, it’s actually illegal to handle porpoises in most jurisdictions unless you have a permit.
Why does purpose matter? In a generation, no one will remember you.
Be good to everyone around you, raise your kids right if you have them, leave your house in order before you die.
Kids made it pretty easy. Absent them, I’m not sure I’d be able to answer.
The point is to dance and sing and laugh. AW.
I just hit 45. A couple years ago I realized living to work was not enough, so I dove headfirst into some hobbies that make me happy. I like to learn and create new things. Enriching my brain is more important than padding my retirement portfolio. I make beautiful things and it makes me feel fulfilled.
You have to make your own purpose, and find meaning for yourself.
I work my ass off day in and day out. I have a high pressure job and the work just keeps piling up and the phone never stops ringing and the email is relentless. There’s big money on the line and tempers flare.
But, it is very fulfilling. It gives meaning to my life. People count on me to deliver and I do. It’s what I do. It’s all I do. If I had any job, I would learn the system and do it well. It’s just an ethic I have built from childhood.
And that’s just work. All the stuff I like to do for fun, that’s just icing on the cake.
You have to adjust your perspective. You need to understand that nothing really matters.
Then the things that matter to you become crystal clear.
Get loved, try and stay alive.
the worst part of life is that it’s your job to give it purpose.
The best part of life is that it’s your job to give it purpose.
5 things for me.
– I want to teach my kids. Everything. How to play sorts. Math. Critical thinking. History. How to be kind. How to laugh. How to swim. How to hike. How to turn into solid adults.
– I want to grow my business and have an impact on the world by how we operate and impact society.
– I enjoy my “me” /friends hobbies – Running, lifting weights, playing golf, and drinking/collecting whisky.
– Investing financially beyond my family’s needs. I really want to leave money behind to St Jude Children’s Hospital and to my alma mater’s minority and rural student scholarship fund.
– I want to be a good partner to my spouse.
That’s enough of a point purpose for me. Just 5 things. Even just the first one would be enough to keep me going.
Man I’ve been asking my self the very same thing.
Never found a purpose, nothing seems to matter even a little bit so I just float through life checked out and waiting for the end credits to roll.
The entire world has problems. Surviving is an art now. It’s easy to find purpose in a sea of issues. Maybe your life is too easy?
You didn’t lose purpose. What it means to you has changed because you have changed. You need to do something different that makes you feel alive and good. No one but you can figure out what that is. There are a lot of good books that can help you because you can read them and feel something and try it out. If you feel nothing or you hate it when you read about it, you don’t need to try it.
I’m more interested to know when you felt purpose before and how you think that that has changed. Answering that could get you closer to where you should go next than any other line of thought.
Practice gratitude. Forgive readily. Limit expectations. Give more than you take.
Hobbies that aren’t sports. Make something. Learn something.
Bro I was doordashing and saw the best sunset this evening. Not sure it makes life worth it, but I wouldn’t have seen it if I was dead
Mark Manson has a great app to help with purpose. For me, I’ve just defined it as using the skills I’ve developed to give back to my sons, my family, and my community. My purpose is to pass on my knowledge to those around me.
I really never thought of my life as having any overarching purpose. I’m here and then I’m not. Hopefully I was kind to people and a good husband. If I am very lucky I might leave the world a tiny bit better than when I entered it.
I’m not working towards anything in particular, but I’d like my life to get better over time, though I’m well aware of the problems of aging. I’m also consistently amazed that I lived this long.
My mom died suddenly and unexpectedly last year. These Bible verses gave me a lot of purpose, having a firm hope that I’ll see her again in heaven, and wanting to do the best I can in this life for my kids.
>”For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life.” – John 3:16 https://bible.com/bible/114/jhn.3.16.NKJV
>“Jesus said to her, “I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in Me, though he may die, he shall live. And whoever lives and believes in Me shall never die. Do you believe this?”” – John 11:25-26 https://bible.com/bible/114/jhn.11.25-26.NKJV
>”He will swallow up death forever, And the Lord God will wipe away tears from all faces; The rebuke of His people He will take away from all the earth; For the Lord has spoken. And it will be said in that day: “Behold, this is our God; We have waited for Him, and He will save us. This is the Lord; We have waited for Him; We will be glad and rejoice in His salvation.”” – Isaiah 25:8-9 https://bible.com/bible/114/isa.25.8-9.NKJV
Raising a decent human is my only goal.
Outside of that I just here to laugh and bust nuts.
I get some purpose at work, I work 3 12s with 4 days off. Me and my dad go to lunch once a week. He just turned 79. He still gets around good. I know he won’t be around forever. So I am enjoying the time we have. I build things for myself and people. 3D printing, leather, wood working. I make custom wood furniture. I smoke meat. I enjoy learning how to grill and smoke meat.
33 comments
Here’s an original copy of /u/Broke_Pigeon_Sales’s post (if available):
Man oh man. Purpose matters. I feel like I completely lost the plot somewhere in my late 40s. Now looking to live again – how have you handled purpose?
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AskMenOver30) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I’ve always felt purpose is chosen by you yourself. Life is given meaning when you can figure something(s) out to make it your purpose (large or small.)
Im here for a good time, not a long time. Do what you love and practice gratitude
Wow okay, so I may be tired but I read “Man on man.” and was like “okay, here we go…” lol.
Anyway… early 40s. Constant setbacks. Learned to be more go with the flow and find the enjoyment of where life goes. Sometimes going with the stream is pretty chill for a while.
In the end, being happy, entertained, and caring for those I care for in ways I reasonably can.
Think the issue of losing the plot is that there isn’t a plot. You sort of have to make it up.
For the first time in my life yes.
I finally get the opportunity to make myself happy first. Decorate the apartment how want. Buy the harley. Bang 22 year olds. Build that workshop.
Put your wants and needs above everyone else. You’ve earned it.
EDIT: for everyone downvoting, this is literally what women say every day. They love themselves first. Time for you to start doing the same.
I don’t care about purpose, a few lifetimes at most past mine, if I’m lucky, and it will be as if I never even was.
The closest thing I have to purpose is “for the satisfaction of it”
Curiosity, knowledge, movement, challenge… these things are satisfying, so I take aim at them.
I feel like life is pointless. I try to enjoy each day and spend time with hobbies that make me happy. I also try to be a good person and not make life any harder for anyone.
I don’t think I have a purpose. I don’t think anyone is really that important. I do stuff that I enjoy and I try to live a good life. To me that means living within my means, staying fit and healthy and just doing my best each day.
I actually retired early and did so to have more leisure time. I do things on the cheap though.
Accepting there is none.
I’m just trying to have as much fun as I can with the understanding that the future is not guaranteed. I count my blessings when I spend time with my family. I try to do as many things as I can. I am developing an Indie game by myself and I also try to get out on my dirt bike every week.
I take my job seriously but I also try to do the bare minimum to be a valuable employee. You are not getting extras out of me unless there truly is an emergency, then I’ll do what it takes to fix it.
I also quit all social media except reddit.
I don’t know. I’m almost 37, and I’ve never felt like I need a purpose. To me, work is for money, not any kind of validation or anything.
I just want to enjoy my time with my family and friends, and be a neighbor who minds his own business, but will help if I can.
Maybe that’s my purpose, I guess. I just don’t need an overarching theme. I’m not sure if that’s what you’re getting at, I may be understanding.
The purpose of life is to find your gift.
The work of life is to develop your gift.
The meaning of life is to give your gift away …
FYI, it’s actually illegal to handle porpoises in most jurisdictions unless you have a permit.
Why does purpose matter? In a generation, no one will remember you.
Be good to everyone around you, raise your kids right if you have them, leave your house in order before you die.
Kids made it pretty easy. Absent them, I’m not sure I’d be able to answer.
The point is to dance and sing and laugh. AW.
I just hit 45. A couple years ago I realized living to work was not enough, so I dove headfirst into some hobbies that make me happy. I like to learn and create new things. Enriching my brain is more important than padding my retirement portfolio. I make beautiful things and it makes me feel fulfilled.
You have to make your own purpose, and find meaning for yourself.
I work my ass off day in and day out. I have a high pressure job and the work just keeps piling up and the phone never stops ringing and the email is relentless. There’s big money on the line and tempers flare.
But, it is very fulfilling. It gives meaning to my life. People count on me to deliver and I do. It’s what I do. It’s all I do. If I had any job, I would learn the system and do it well. It’s just an ethic I have built from childhood.
And that’s just work. All the stuff I like to do for fun, that’s just icing on the cake.
You have to adjust your perspective. You need to understand that nothing really matters.
Then the things that matter to you become crystal clear.
Get loved, try and stay alive.
the worst part of life is that it’s your job to give it purpose.
The best part of life is that it’s your job to give it purpose.
5 things for me.
– I want to teach my kids. Everything. How to play sorts. Math. Critical thinking. History. How to be kind. How to laugh. How to swim. How to hike. How to turn into solid adults.
– I want to grow my business and have an impact on the world by how we operate and impact society.
– I enjoy my “me” /friends hobbies – Running, lifting weights, playing golf, and drinking/collecting whisky.
– Investing financially beyond my family’s needs. I really want to leave money behind to St Jude Children’s Hospital and to my alma mater’s minority and rural student scholarship fund.
– I want to be a good partner to my spouse.
That’s enough of a point purpose for me. Just 5 things. Even just the first one would be enough to keep me going.
Man I’ve been asking my self the very same thing.
Never found a purpose, nothing seems to matter even a little bit so I just float through life checked out and waiting for the end credits to roll.
The entire world has problems. Surviving is an art now. It’s easy to find purpose in a sea of issues. Maybe your life is too easy?
You didn’t lose purpose. What it means to you has changed because you have changed. You need to do something different that makes you feel alive and good. No one but you can figure out what that is. There are a lot of good books that can help you because you can read them and feel something and try it out. If you feel nothing or you hate it when you read about it, you don’t need to try it.
I’m more interested to know when you felt purpose before and how you think that that has changed. Answering that could get you closer to where you should go next than any other line of thought.
Practice gratitude. Forgive readily. Limit expectations. Give more than you take.
Hobbies that aren’t sports. Make something. Learn something.
Bro I was doordashing and saw the best sunset this evening. Not sure it makes life worth it, but I wouldn’t have seen it if I was dead
Mark Manson has a great app to help with purpose. For me, I’ve just defined it as using the skills I’ve developed to give back to my sons, my family, and my community. My purpose is to pass on my knowledge to those around me.
I really never thought of my life as having any overarching purpose. I’m here and then I’m not. Hopefully I was kind to people and a good husband. If I am very lucky I might leave the world a tiny bit better than when I entered it.
I’m not working towards anything in particular, but I’d like my life to get better over time, though I’m well aware of the problems of aging. I’m also consistently amazed that I lived this long.
My mom died suddenly and unexpectedly last year. These Bible verses gave me a lot of purpose, having a firm hope that I’ll see her again in heaven, and wanting to do the best I can in this life for my kids.
>”For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life.” – John 3:16 https://bible.com/bible/114/jhn.3.16.NKJV
>“Jesus said to her, “I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in Me, though he may die, he shall live. And whoever lives and believes in Me shall never die. Do you believe this?”” – John 11:25-26 https://bible.com/bible/114/jhn.11.25-26.NKJV
>”He will swallow up death forever, And the Lord God will wipe away tears from all faces; The rebuke of His people He will take away from all the earth; For the Lord has spoken. And it will be said in that day: “Behold, this is our God; We have waited for Him, and He will save us. This is the Lord; We have waited for Him; We will be glad and rejoice in His salvation.”” – Isaiah 25:8-9 https://bible.com/bible/114/isa.25.8-9.NKJV
Raising a decent human is my only goal.
Outside of that I just here to laugh and bust nuts.
I get some purpose at work, I work 3 12s with 4 days off. Me and my dad go to lunch once a week. He just turned 79. He still gets around good. I know he won’t be around forever. So I am enjoying the time we have. I build things for myself and people. 3D printing, leather, wood working. I make custom wood furniture. I smoke meat. I enjoy learning how to grill and smoke meat.