tl;dr I want to preface this by saying he treats me so amazing, I’ve never gotten this type of love from anyone before, I do know as a 100%, he’s loyal to me and only loves me but I do feel like his ex still trying to contact him makes me feel some type of way.
Me and my boyfriend have been together for almost 2 months. He’s my first relationship. His last relationship was 3 years long, and they broke up in November 2024. According to him, they stayed “friends” for a bit afterward because her mom passed away and he was supporting her. The last time they slept together was July 2025, which he says was just a hookup. Me and him started dating at the beginning of January 2026.
When we were in the talking stage, he told me he blocked her everywhere—Instagram, Snapchat, everything. But ever since then, she’s been calling him on No Caller ID. He rarely picks up, but when he does, he says he tells her to leave him alone, that he’s moved on, and that he’s pursuing someone else (me).
One day when we were together, she called again. I told him to pick up. On the call, she was still calling him “babe.” He told her to stop calling and that he had moved on. Then she read out my Instagram username and asked if that’s who he moved on with. I was shocked because 1) she didn’t know I was sitting right next to him, and 2) she doesn’t even follow him on Instagram. Apparently she had a screen recording of his following list saved from before, and she compared it to his current following list through a mutual friend to find my account.
He told her I was right beside him—we were literally at uni in an empty classroom, he asked me if I wanted to say anything to her I said no, I just kept quiet, but she still didn’t care. She said, “Babe, you’re doing stuff with her that you used to do with me.” After the call, I checked my phone and saw she had requested to follow me on Instagram… and then unrequested me.
I told him she’s acting crazy, and instead of fully agreeing, he kind of defended her by saying, “Babe, I get it, but I don’t want her to ruin us. She’s in the past. I’ll never get back with her.” When I kept saying her behavior is a bit crazy, he said, “You’ve never been in a relationship. We were together for three years,” which rubbed me the wrong way. Because I don’t need to have been in a relationship to realize that I myself would never ever act that way towards an ex if that ex had moved on. Because I have respect for myself, and the new girl.
He showed me some messages she sent after he told her he moved on—stuff like “You just led me on until you found someone” and “I hope she cheats on you.” He insists he didn’t lead her on and that he’s been telling her he’ll never get back with her.
This was a couple weeks ago. He turned on “mute unknown callers,” but she’s still calling his phone because the missed calls still show in his call log. The part that bothers me is that he doesn’t tell me when she calls unless I ask. As someone who’s never been in a relationship before, this whole situation makes me feel weird and uneasy, and I don’t think he fully understands my perspective. I don’t know if he’s telling me the whole truth or if I’m just inexperienced and overthinking. But truthfully, it makes me feel a little different about him because I don’t know the whole truth, and everytime I just feel like he’s defending her behavior just because they were together for 3 years.
Can someone give me some perspective, am I tripping?