I am laying on my bed with my toddler, it’s past 10:30PM. I am exhausted. I work from home, but I have lots of teams meetings and I’m 3 months pregnant with our second. My husband is off this week as he works outside and it’s freezing temperatures where we live. He took a 4 hr nap during the day.
After I finished work, we went and picked up our son from daycare. Came home, I cooked his dinner for him and I made a simple dinner for our toddler. I was tired. I decided to stay on the couch and not do anything, which I know is wrong.
99% of the time, I am the one who is doing the housechores, and he is the one laying down watching TV or staying on his phone. Today, I was the one staying on my phone and sitting on the couch, and he was playing with our toddler. He got mad. He said to my face that he married me for papers. We both come from the same country (southeast europe), but I brought him here. I haven’t let his comments get to me lately, but this one did. I felt used…I stood up went to wash the dishes and started crying. He decided to vacuum and when he saw me crying, he said ‘why tf are you crying?’
I help with the bills. These past few months, I’ve been the one paying rent. He will start paying in March. I have been the one paying for both of our car loans plus other expenses, as his work was slow.
I am mentally drained, I can’t even explain it. I’m 30 years old, I’m not stupid, I have tried to be there for him through everything. He has never appreciated any of it. I am not financially ready to leave yet. He told me he’d never buy a house for me because I don’t tidy up. Mind you, I do the dishes and laundry all the time, I cook when I can, I try to clean and tidy when I’m not too tired. I take care of our toddler.
I just need some positive thoughts. I don’t wanna live like this anymore.