I'm a 40F and I wouldn't say I'm 100% set in my ways, but I do have my views and opinions, as well as hobbies and passions, and it all makes me uniquely who I am. That being said, I've found it SO HARD to find a guy who wants to get to know me for who I am right now. I re-entered the dating scene after a year long break from it.
When I was in my early to mid 20s I dated online quite a bit and got a lot of dates at the time, but I wasn't dating intentionally or with full conviction of my values. I mostly just went with what the guys wanted, denying my own needs, and that was problematic. As i got into my 30s i continued dating but found myself struggling more with finding people who I connect with. And now I just feel like it's a moot point.
I don't know if this is a symptom of just online dating, but it's hard for me to meet guys who are interested enough. I'm vegan for health and ethical reasons, I'm a musician and educator by profession, I love nature and am an avid hiker, I consider myself somewhat spiritual, and do not drink, smoke, or do drugs of any kind.
I don't mean to be a downer, but just feels like there's less of a chance that I'll meet another person who complements my life, or wants to at least. And yes, I've been in hiking meetups, vegan meetups, and it's very hit or miss. I've had more bad than good experiences with that.
Just feeling kind of low and not as hopeful.
Edit: What has helped me in the past, is holding space for what I feel about this, all while still loving myself unconditionally and knowing I'm enough and worthy of a healthy mutually caring relationship. It's ok to be happy single or whatever, but it's also ok to sometimes want a relationship.