She is disabled and I am her carer. We have been together for 10 years.

I am struggling to cope. We have help, outside services to help me with the care. But it is taking a toll on my mentally and physically.

This has been magnified by a recent friend that I have made. Who happens to be [F30]. We are all friends but she is technically my friend who I met. I want to hang out with her, like friends do, just coffee or a walk, nothing more. But my wife is jealous, understandably.

But there is nothing to be jealous of, I just have a friend that is not me being a carer. It's a nice mental break from constantly being in "care mode".

My wife has asked me to ask her before I ask to hang out with the friend, fair enough. But I can never do it right, it's always taken like I'm trying to do it in a suspicious way.

I feel suffocated. I don't have any other friends or outlets.

I just want us all to be friends, even if that includes us all hanging out together.

I know men and women struggle to be friends without sexual tension but that's not always the case.

What am I supposed to do? I don't want to resent my wife and I don't want to one day decide I've had enough.

I love my wife and I'm happy to bear the responsibility of her care, even though it is exhausting to me sometimes – didn't sleep for 5 days during a recent hospital stay.

Help!


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