I know this can come off as childish or dumb since I am only 19. Maybe in a few years I’ll look back at this like just a bad feeling. However, how can I stop being scared of growing up? I am at the point where life is getting more serious. College, work, goals, what to do with life, etc. There are many things that I have to figure out in order to have a successful life, but I honestly have no goals or sense of where I wanna go.
On top of that, I do not like my life. I quite miss when I was younger. I had all of my friends and family together (before I moved). Finding joy and a reason to do things was easy. Now I just spend my free time alone, and watching mindless consumerism to fill a void. I currently just want to have a goal or something to look forward to. Something that makes me wanna wake up excited. How can I stop looking at the past and grow up?