This is the place to put shower thoughts, your vents/rants about dating, requests for quick advice, serious (and sometimes not) questions and anything else that might not warrant a post of its own.

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18 comments

  1. It’s so funny when you have good banter with someone on the apps, but as soon as you mention going on a date, they go silent. What are y’all even doing on the apps, then? 🤣

  2. I don’t know what to expect from the guy I’m seeing sincs january.
    Sometimes I think he’s not interested because he didn’t want to go out because he was too tired from work. For the 2nd time (not in a row).

  3. hello hi it’s me, your resident broken hearted little bean. v day sucked ass. his birthday is tomorrow and i don’t know what to do with all the gifts i made and bought for him. feels wrong to toss ’em. the idea of moving onto the next is really overwhelming. I unpaused my hinge account, updated my pictures and his profile popped up within the first 10 minutes yikes!!

  4. Omg I had an AMAZING valentines night with my friends. We threw a sick party. I offered tarrot love readings and people enjoyed it. Met some new folks and maybe a potential cutie. Either way I love long conversations that go well into the wee morning hours with friends 🧡

  5. I gave my friend the Happy Plants Lego set for his housewarming, he seemed to like it. Thank you to those of you who talked some sense into me a few weeks ago.

  6. I don’t want to banter with anymore men on the apps. I need people that can have conversations and understand how to keep a conversation going in person.

  7. I’m becoming way too comfortable in living alone, there are times when I wish intimacy but most of the time I’ve a very peaceful life. I had good relationships before, but the modern dating culture seems a bit off, perhaps I am a bit too lazy?

  8. Been dating after a break due to a break up. 

    I’m M33 from UK. 

    So many weird women out there. 

  9. Welp, the ‘roster’ has been depleted and I’m currently Talking to zero people. I think it’s time to take a break.

    I’ve received the “hey, you are super sweet and I had a great time but I’m just not feeling it” a few times in a row now. Trying not to ruminate on that too much, buuuuut at the same time I know I’m still hung up on someone and it would make a lot of sense that it shows in how I carry myself and show interest, etc. Hmph.

  10. We had such a nice valentines day, but there’s now a cloud hanging over us. I have an ex in town from years ago who’s doing the most to be an annoyance in my life. We’ve reached “this town ain’t big enough for the two of us” stages and I’m strongly considering moving back home to Seattle this summer. Me and current GF are too new for us to move together, although she has always wanted to live in the PNW. We talked a bit about it. She seemed understanding but sad, if I can’t live here in Pittsburgh and be mentally healthy, what other choice do I have?

    This is the most compatible person I’ve met in years.

  11. Reposting for the new thread…

     I’m curious, what are people’s thoughts on asking someone to hang out without calling it a date? I feel like growing up it was always a fairly accepted thing that if you ask someone to dinner/a movie/ice cream/something else “date-like”, that suffices for expressing your interest even if it’s not called A Date. But the more I have closer platonic friendships with men the more I’m not really sure how to navigate this.

    I’ve been on both sides, both asking someone to hang out 1-1 but leaving it ambiguous about whether it’s a date, and also being asked to do things but not being sure if it’s a date. I have some friendships where it’s pretty clear and established that it’s 100% platonic, and of course if at least one person involved is in a relationship then I assume it’s platonic. But when both people are single and there’s been some amount of flirting-adjacent behavior then it’s confusing.

    I personally still feel like there’s some emotional subtlety in dating where you shouldn’t have to say everything is a date explicitly, that’s the whole point of flirting and doing lower-risk things to test out if a person is interested. But it has gotten to a point of being quite confusing for me lately.

    I guess this is partly coming from a personal situation where this guy keeps asking me to hang out but not saying it’s a date, and I can’t fully blame him because I’ve been on the other side of this of asking someone I’m interested in to hang out but not saying it was a date (in part because I really just wanted to get to know him and wasn’t actually sure if it was a date myself!).

  12. Attended a singles valentine’s event yesterday. Met many different people, and I’m getting more and more comfortable approaching people. Even gave someone my number, that’s something I never do. 

  13. M34. 2 months ago I met someone and we had one of those fiery, natural connections. One of those effortless, natural connections where two folks just look like they belong to there. He talked so much about how he wants to show up for me. We had fabulous conversations and a wonderful first weekend together. Leading up to Valentine’s Day he went quiet and I had to ask to talk to him twice before he responded.

    3 days before VDay I asked him about it and he said he hadn’t even thought about it and then asked me what my plans were for VDay which made me feel like a 🤡 because I had kept my plans open for him. He then said he’d need to think about getting together and asked for time. The afternoon of the day before I had to follow up with him and he said that he couldn’t make it. Then the day of he said he thought about surprising me by showing up but didn’t because I’m not a “go with the flow kind of person”.

    I called things off with him. A strong connection isn’t enough to build a relationship on. You have to be able and ready to show up for it.

  14. 36 F spent the valentine working , slowly losing hope to actually meet someone and have a relationship

  15. I almost sent my far away boo soup and biscuits so he’d have a meal to come home to last night after work after a stomach bug but I got in my head about logistics and overstepping bc I’m not girlfriend, and made the mistake of telling him I wanted to instead of just doing it and he insisted I do not and ended up buying his own food like usual then on a call later was like “oh wait that would’ve been kinda nice” I think he didn’t think I would’ve ordered from a diner or something. 

    Anyway it’s bothering me soooo much today that I didn’t just go ahead and order it when I knew it would’ve been appreciated. I guess I’ll have other opportunities but that would’ve been perfect

  16. The guy I’ve been dating exclusively for 5 months finally made it official last night on our special valentine date. 🥰 He even brought it up all on his own and was super cute about it. It was worth the wait ! To be transparent I was planning to bring it up after Vday, I just had this feeling something was coming. This relationship just feels so right. Excited to see how it grows!

  17. I hope this is okay to post!
    I took my boyfriend’s anal virginity for Valentine’s Day and it was SO FUN. I’m on cloud 9 and happy to have found someone who matches my freak.

  18. My first ever (celebrated) Valentine’s day was a success! My flowers were beautiful, my lipstick was kiss-proof, my heart was full.

    Still chuckling at seeing all the men in my city descend upon the flower sections at grocery stores yesterday. Walking up to my customized delivery (with card!!) after a day of errands was a delightful contrast.

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